oh god... i'm breaking down...

i've been lying on my bed e past 8hrs but i couldn't fall aslp.. can someone just knock me out? my body tells me i'm so so tired.. my brain says Y did u do it? i made a terrible mistake yesterday! i had good intentions but it turned out so bad... i feel so bad about it.. oh god.. wat did i do? i just took him back 2 hell... i shouldn't be so selfish... i'm gg crazy soon.. crap...

i just wanted to know if he's ok.. I shld have hung up when he said i shld leave him quietly... All the i should have... it's so so so painfully for me right now.. it is so difficult... i need a shoulder to cry on.. i feel so alone... wat's happening to me? i dunno...

I juz wanna b me.. but who am i?

i care too much about the people around me? actually i'm just taking the shortest route out! i don't wanna be nagged so i do what i'm told.. i feel so upset.. has any of those people who care SO SO SO SO much abt me [AKA my parents] asked me how i feel and what i want? they just do as they please... den why be bothered with my problems? since you all don't care how it is solved, you just want it solved [if i don't exist, the problem wouldn't either]... Is that the best for me??

He has no one there for him [not someone whom he wants anyway...] and i just wanna be there for him... Cause i feel the same... He just needs someone who needs him.. I don't need advice, I need some one who wants to listen to what i have to say... i need to feel needed... i don't know who am i anymore... i can't be bothered to find myself cause i don't know where to start... i'm just so lost.. i just wanna find a hole and hide.. running is not e solution blah blah blah... maybe running away from all this is what i need...

we humans are jus using each other.. we need each other to survive.. then why do i not feel needed? i need company, i need a hug now.. all this tears flowing out... for what? i don't know.. i'm just so unhappy.. even my PC is bullying me.. it's craping me..

i know this is part and parcel of life and i'll feel better when this is all over but when?? there's always a but behide all the good news.. i've always been impatient with everything i do.. when i can't decide, i just grab the nearest one.. Is god trying to teach me patience? Did i just make it tougher for myself? i don't know... hell with it.. i don't care.. I tried to be a saint and apparently i'm not one.. so i will not act like one anymore. you shall do as you please and i will do the same...

There was once back in time, when we were inter-dependent on each other.. Along the way, we lost ourselves and parted ways. It is till now that we realise the importance of each other.. It is till now that i know we cannot be together because.. we don't have a chance anymore... i will move on because i have to... It has all been too painful! perhaps i'll be able to find happiness and learn how to treasure it... but it is you who taught me how to love and for that i'll always remember you.. You know you'll always have a special place in my heart!

I need him in my life or rather, life was lot better with him around [ when he was not fooling around].. now i'm all alone.. i need a boyfriend [ just kidding! i lost a person whom i love deeply... i don't know how will i love again...]but first i need to learn how to trust... then i need the right guy to appear.. [haha.. preferbly tall, cute and rich!! i'm dreaming once again..] As usual... my plan is not to plan anymore cause nothing goes according to my plan.. It's too perfect, i live in a world where there are butterflies and everything nice... I live in my dream...

Moral of the story: a dream will only be a dream.... [ @ least in my case...]

Lost once again..

Haiz... I don't know what to do once again.. Is leaving him the best for us? I'm doing everything i can to please everyone but... It's so difficult for both of us... I still don't know if he loves me or lusts for me.. Will i ever find out?

loving you = staying with you?

I don't agree... Once i loved you so.. That's why i set you free.. I gave you the freedom to choose what you think is the best for you... I believe if we are meant to be together, nothing in this world can stop us.. And we are not meant to be, we will break up sooner or later... you are not willing to put us to the test, why? It's a make or break kinda thing.. If we are able to brave through this together, our relationship will be stronger than ever... But if we do not make it, we shall face the truth & stop lying to ourselves. With every risk, there comes a return... The return for this risk is the truth... Perhaps for once we should just risk everything in return for the truth.. It takes two hands to clap... i can't do this alone.. Cause it concerns us...

Something nice tomorrow?

hmmm... today is fine, i guess.. haha! fell asleep during lecture.. he's so so so so boring!! haiz... But i still need to survive it tml... Don't feel like going tomorrow.. Already skipped one of his lectures so i think i shall try to be a good girl tomorrow.. After school it's going to be dinner with my family [I'm a daddy's girl.. haha].. Looking forward to something nice. [Drooling right now.. YUMMY!!] Food, Food & FOOD!! haha... my favourite.. hee.. so the plan for tomorrow is: meet him [if i can get my ass out of my bed..], go to school, then the finale a good dinner & maybe some shopping? I'm going to have a great day tomorrow...

Stupid YC drinking alone.. don't know how to SHARE!!! MEANIE... Tempting me..

The begining of the end?

I'm still waiting for the results... haiz.. I don't know what the results will be like.. I hope it'll be mild.. I still care alot.. perhaps too much.. The more i care, the deeper i sink... It doesn't matter anymore! I'll be contented if he's ok... All i want is for him to be happy & safe [something that i cannot give]..

My dearest, you gotta learn how to look for your happiness... It's your life, you have gotta find something to make it worth living. Don't get a girl & say that she's your reason to live... You are putting the burden on her.. Don't let history repeat itself! Find someone you wanna share your life with... Someone willing to share all the joy & happiness, sadness & disappointment in life.. Take care my friend.. That's all i have to say... Time will tell...

Rainy day.. I feel so blue but i till gotta go to school... Smile & i hope my day will be better.. To everyone who's reading this: Have a nice day!!

been in a fantasy 4 e past 2 days...

Have been living in my own world since monday night.. It was like old times... Did i do the wrong thing? Who has the right to judge? I don't know & I don't care... It felt good to act like a brat! haha...

"There's nothing quite as precious as trust" i told him that & he knows that i have minimum trust in him now.. I'll not keep my hopes up high... I'll be neutral cause neither of us knows where this leads to.. Prove your words with actons k? I will move on... You will always stay in my heart, you know you will.. I'll be your special friend! Till when i can trust you again, i will only stay a special friend. I don't care how others look at me, as long as i believe in you [ I don't know how long it will take before i believe in you again but time does miracles]... It's going to be an uphill journey cause you have lost all the trust that me, my family & friends have placed on you... That will take time & effort... Like i said, you can do anything you want to as long as you put your heart into it.. It's a matter of how much you want it.. No matter what, she'll always be part of this friendship... You can never totally remove her from your life! Time will tell the truth.. Are you staying for good? i don't know.. It doesn't matter... You can care for me more than you would for anybody else & still love someone else... I'll respect that... Cause people change & we move on... Perhaps this will just be a fantasy, perhaps this will lead to something else... We shall see how it goes...

Back 2 earth...

I was on a vacation yesterday 4 a couple of hours... haha... Actually i was @ sunset bay with a couple of my buddies!! Though there were just 5 of us butit was plenty of fun as usual.. i felt so so good yesterday.. so relaxed.. felt like i can choose not to care about what's happening on "earth".. But now, it's back to earth for me.. haiz.. Actually, i've been back since i reached woodlands yesterday... long story... 1 for another day...


All the hunks & babes present!!















Wondering what were we doing in the shower?
This is what we did:














He doesn't know how lucky he is...
Will someone give him a clue?



















The sun, the sea & the BABES!!
What more do u want?














Look @ my butt!!
Yes, i do have a BUTT!!

an emotional wreak now...

TRUSTED

1. To have or place confidence in; depend on.
2. To expect with assurance; assume: I trust that you will be on time.
3. To believe: I trust what you say.
4. To place in the care of another; entrust.
5. To grant discretion to confidently: Can I trust them with the boat?
6. To extend credit to.

There was once when i gave all my love n trust to someone unconditionally. In e end, all i receive are doubts, lies n heartaches... I don't want to find out more cause i don't want to hurt no more! I'll face it all after i gather all my courage n feel brave once again... perhaps your love for me is not deep enough, or perhaps we are not meant to be... It doesn't matter anymore now that e ending is like this...I will leave it to god to decide what's right n what's wrong. In e future, i might find myself stupid for making this choice now. but by then it will not matter anymore cause i would have learnt a lesson... I'll continue to search for my Mr right... I'm going to take alot of time, courage n effort for me to trust unconditionally again...

After this incident, i'm nothing but an emotional wreak... i don't know how to trust anyone anymore... i once trusted my life to him but.... where am i going to find e courage to love n to believe n to trust again? I was never afraid of walking home alone at night but now... i jump at e slightest sound... i feel so small, so tiny, so insecure... walked home after supper with angel.. my heart stopped beating for a moment when a bicycle went pass me... a bicycle scared e hell out of me... I know all of you really care for me... i'm just so scare... i want to run away from all this. Just dig a hole n hide myself away from e world... but i cannot! i had a choice then, i made my choice so i have to face e consequences...

i know all my frenz r willing to brave it together with me n i do not know how 2 appreciate you guys... i'm so sorry... i know it doesn't help... i really don't know what to do anymore... i'm so tired of being nice... i know it's not fair to e people around me when i am mean... i can't help it... i feel that all of you will leave me one day.. i'm so scare... i'm afraid that all of you will go away... i don't know how to react.. i'm losing it... i'm nothing but an emotional wreak... i'm acting normal because i don't know how to be normal anymore.. i've lost myself in e process of loving him! now i need to get myself back... this is a long n slow process that i got to go through by myself... sorry YC... don't mean it... haiz... dunno what to say anymore...

my blog is just a form of expression!

hmmm... i don't what 2 say but all i know is that this is one place for me 2 vent my frustrations n tell ppl abt what's gg on wif my life. this is definately not a place for u ppl 2 read up n worry abt me... i'm ok... i will be... i don't mean 2 cause any of u 2 get worked up... i'll cheer up n that will take time... i know u all care 4 me n that's why u guys get worked up... thanks 4 all e care n concern... i'll b ok....

esp. 2 u, Mr YC!! i WILL be ok... i mean u know me 4 so long le... i'll brave it all out in e end... i'm no hero, i do break down n cry... when i do cry, it's just a form of expression, an emotional release... it means that i'm unhappy but aft crying i do feel better.. so it's ok... don't ask me not 2 care abt him, it's just like asking u 2 stop caring 4 your princess X.Y... it's difficult isn't it? so it's not easy for me either... i might be strong but i still need time 2 heal...no one can tell me how long 2 take, what 2 do etc... running is not a solution. u agree rite? sometimes i'm just tired of facing everything head on, i break down n take time 2 feel sorry 4 myself... sooner or later, i'll pick myself up n move on again... it's part of a process in my life... just want u 2 understand! listen to Tong En's "yi xia xia" perhaps u'll get what i'm saying..

[my dearest boy... don't be sad... i'm here rooting 4 u... i might not be right beside u now but i care, i'm anxious abt u... i'm so sorry, i left u alone but what's e use of sorry? i cannot change what i have done, all i can do is apologise for my mistake n hope that u'll forgive me... u must learn how 2 take good care of yourself k? be a good boy... do u know that u are so cute n lovable when u try n be an angel? although u might smell wierd but... nvm.. private joke! haha... u'll stay here, in my heart...]

["..even if u took my heart n tore it apart, i will love u still forever..." from e song "forever" by Damage... do u mean it? or u did not hear that part or u still love me but u don't forgive me?]

Recovery in process... [i hope]...

hmmm... heard alot of things tat i was dying 2 hear... only if i heard these words sooner... all this would never happen... i guess he's not sure of how he feels before all this happened...

like i said if i can be there 2 hug u 2 slp n 2 feed u, i will... i rush now this very minute... pls try 2 eat something k? get some rest too... i know it's not easy, i'm gg through e same thing... it's not easy for me either... but i have to do it... if not my body will just break down n u'll have one less supporter... everyone, who cares for u, is rooting for u! we r all standing behind u, supporting u all e way... if u urself break down, how r we gg 2 continue supporting u? be strong k? i know it's not easy but pls try ur best... i know that if u set ur heart 2 something, no one can stop u! we'll pull through this together... just remember that u r always on my mind... no one can stop me frm missing u, frm thinking abt u... i will move on because i must... time will heal my wounds... crying is my favourite hobby now, i need 2 make this hobby go away.. time will do that for me... but i hope whatever time does, u will not forget me...

haiz... skool's crapy as usual.. to my macroecons lecturer, my name is " e gal who wants to accumulate wealth..." dotted... what kinda name is that? MY NAME IS JOYZZ!! gg 2 tell him that tml... u r gg 2 get it straight, Mr macroecons 2!! cheat my feelings... he lures us with a very attractive bait n once we are hooked, too bad!! so mean!! meanie, meanie, super big bad meanie! nvm... tml last day le.. jia you! stinkie, u also jia you k!

i'm glad that u dun hate me!

all along i was so worried that u might hate me... i noe i did not do anything wrong but... i just feel guilty after all u r 1 guy whom i luv so so much... my heartaches @ e thought of what e ending might be... i never wanted it this way... i know u believe me... i also know that what's done cannot be undone... learn this painful lesson hard, learn it well! so that it will be worth it... everyone is supporting u, i'm also doing e same... pls b strong! i know this is e darkest period of your life but believe me, there will be light @ e end of e tunnel... all i hope n pray 4 is that u will learn something out of this n u can get off as easy as possible... like i have said before, forgiveness is not about e mistake that was made... it is how much i want to forgive u... i don't blame u... i'm just sad that our time together was so short...

do u know how much i yearn to hug u n hear u whisper all e sweet nothings into my ears? there was once in my life when a hug from u could erase all my pain n sorrows. i'm glad that i had a chance 2 be e one u loved with all your heart n soul [i hope so] because from that point in time u made me see that love is so sweet but so blind... u made me realise that love can change somebody so much... although e changes might not be all that willing but @ least i manage 2 change u 4 awhile.... i hope someday u will find a reason to become better 4 good... the women who is able 2 do that will be e happiest women on earth because when u loved me, i felt e same... since then, things have changed... i hope one day u'll find a women whom can love u unconditionally... n i hope u will learn to treasure her by then... [life has been kind 2 u... sometimes it's e choices we make in life that mould us into who we are... ]

u are special... u have e ability 2 charm everyone... n u gotta stop being such a casanova, i wonder how many hearts will u break b4 u find your wife... haiz... sighing @ e thought of that... u'll always have a special place in my heart! i'll never forget u... u can be an angel if u want to... pls be an angel, although u'll be e naughtiest n meanest angel but u'll also be e cutest 1! haha...

i will move on because i have to... because i need to... what good will it do if i stay @ e same spot licking my wounds? e world will not stop spinning because of me... if it would i'll have stopped it when we were still madly in love... there's no happily ever after n there's no forever in e world we live in... there's only once upon a time....

once upon a time, we were madly in love... if i can relive those days, i will... i never regret e time we spend together... because u taught me how 2 be strong, how it feels 2 be loved, most importantly u taught mi how 2 love some one with all my heart n soul...

i'm letting go n moving on now...

i will try n b myself... i need 2 find myself back.. i dunno where 2 find myself... like yc said "ppl can let u down but u cannot let yourself." tat is so so so true! So i'm juz glad... i did not let myself down.. for all e shit we go through, i hope he'll learn a lesson! it might take a long time, he might never learn but i hope he will... tat's wat we live 4... HOPE!! i will continue 2 pray for u, 2 continue 2 care for u n i'll always remember u... [one day if u stop hating me, pls let me know... the day might never come but... i hope it will... soon... ]

i will move on.. i will find myself back... i will continue to thank god that i'm alive n for all the things that he has given me... god has been generous to me... i hope that will continue to be the case! hee... i will jia you... to b a better me...

joshua- thanks 4 ur listening ear n thanks 4 being willing 2 listen... except thanking u, i dunno wat 2 do...

it applies to all of my frenz... except saying thank you from e bottom of my heart, i really dunno how to express my gratitude... muackz... hugs! luvya...

finally, i broke down...

broke down in skool today... scared e hell out of jindi n 10... [gal, thanks 4 being there... really thank u from e bottom of my heart!] i'm glad that finally i can cry... before i broke down today, i did not drop a tear since all this happened [everything was struck inside me! all my emotions, all e sadness n guilt... i think this is better for me...] i feel like i'm gg through a battle.. i know this battle is almost over. after e battle, i still have 2 heal myself from all e emotional wounds... this will be a long n slow journey but i can still see e silver lining so i'm not gg 2 give up yet... i will jia you! u guys will be there 2 support me right?

went through a crapy n tough econs lecture today... haiz... hell man! got so much shit that i really didn't catch... e lecturer like 2 call out 2 his "audience" 2 look for answers! scared e hell outta me when he called me... crap!!! money is something i want alot of- so money is a measure of wealth. dotted right?? really need 2 work hard on this module.. jia you again!!

auntie... i know e probability of u reading this is very low but... i never wanted 2 break up your family... they are all you have, i understand! as a daughter i understand what you are doing... no matter how much wrong i do/did, i'm always my parents' daughter n someone's sister! they always forgive me... your love for your son is something that never fails to amaze me! you give me e feeling that as long as you are alive, you will always be there for your son... that is something he should learn to appreciate... i hope he will see what you have done for him n be good... [i know you might blame me for all this shit but i'm just like you... all along i wanted to help him, to love n care for him. in the end, instead of helping him i might have harmed him... i never wanted this ending... if there's anything i can do to help... pls call me...]

[pls be forewarned... if i juz break down n cry when i'm with you guys, don't be alarmed! just give me a hug...]

Never underestimate the love of a mother for her children.

i've been fooled by a jackass!

i've heard enough of ur lies! all along u haf been fooling me... i placed so much trust in u n what did u do 2 e trust i gave u? i cannot differenciate e truth from all e lies that u haf told me. i'm so tired of being your clown! i had enough! i really did!

i know there'll be people who will blame me for whatever that happened but what can i do? [blame all u want, it makes no difference to me.. not anymore] if they were in my shoes, what would they have done? i know what i did was survival instinct! i was so afraid, so scared... now i really know that it is good to be alive... i know what i have done might not be the best solution to this problem but at least there's a SOLUTION now... i have been trying 2 be nice 4 so long, n what did i get? my world IS NOT full of butterfiles n everything nice, its just that i choose 2 see e nicer part of human life. [if i don't see the bad, how do i know what's good?] u had a choice n u chose this so don't tell me...

u r always forgiven when u create trouble. u just don't know how 2 appreciate all e things u have... y be envious of things that people have? will u get what u want by just being envious? u just got to thank god that u have what u have...

finally for once in my life i just spill all e shit out 2 my parents! i know they are worried n i know they will worry whether i tell them or not... i know i scare e hell out of them but... haiz.... i'm their daughter after all... finally they are honest with me... thanks 4 everything! i know u all gave in 2 me all e time because u guys love me... i'm your daughter! i don't want to let u guys worry about me all e time either but... just feel so bad!

uncle n auntie, if u ever do read this... all i can say is sorry... i never wanted any of this 2 happen.. i know u love your son n i love him too... i don't want to harm him [never ever would i do that]... u may think this is all bullshit but u know your son even though he had plenty of friends there are alot of things that he never told anyone [i'm included]... he has lied 2 me so many times that i don't know what to do... i tried everything i could, i really tried... he needs help... i don't know how but... we have something in common, we all love your son... when u love someone, u will never want to harm him! i really thank you for all e care n concern u have showered on me... i really thank you...

I'M A F00L!!

all tis time i thought he still loves me but actually he just cannot let go of me... u drag me into this shit & left me there 2 rot...

u once said "i'll always be there for u..." is there any truth in these words? i don't know... i don't believe anymore... in u, in love...

u said " i'm always there for u when u needed me but were u there for me?" u assumed that u were always there for me but when i really needed u, were u there?

"will being there for u help @ all?" it will not cause now it doesn't matter anymore... i gotta move on, with or without u! i gotta move on cause the world will not spinning because of me.

i have been a fool, i know... i will learn 2 be a better person, i will try to help in whatever ways i can... till e day when i give up, till e day i die [i don't know when]... i don't know if what i did is right [i don't know if there's a absolute right or wrong] but i really don't want things 2 end up like that...

to him... if u r reading this, i want to let u know that:

• i love u, i still do... [i know i'm dumb... i wanted to hug u & tell u that but i did & will not have a chance]
• i really want u to be happy [ i don't know how to make u happy, cause only u noe how to make yourself happy]
• i don't want to get u into any trouble [i know it sounds lame but..]
• i know she is e 1 u love now.... [i'm jealous but what can i do?]
• i hope u will be alright [i know i can never be e 1 u want talk to when u encounter problems but i hope u can find someone whom u can talk to... i know i might & probably will not hear from u again so i want to tell u that i know i'm part of your past & i will stay in your past.]
• i will cry again for u if u get into trouble or if u end your life [althought u r not worth it... there's alot of things that i can't explain.]

i'm so sad & hurt cause i never expected that we will end like that. u will make a good husband if the earth could stop spinning @ that point in time when we were so in love.... if i had married u then & everything else remain constant, i will be e happiest women on earth [i know i will]. Never did i once regret acceptting u in my life [i might have my doubts but i never did regret]. i thank you for all e tender love & care u once showered me with. i thank you for making me part of your life. i thank you for all e time we had together. u r special & u always will be... because u brought joy to my life, u made me grow up & view life differently. i want to see u again but yet i'm so afraid of seeing u... one day i will face u again, i just don't when... i will always remember u...

don't hate me....

so so slpy...

wen party world on wed wif all my buddies... had a reali wonderful time... finally i saw lucy! haha.... muz jio all tis ppl 2 sunset next week!! i wanna get a tan...

gather n smile!

eat e ear contest!!

lucy n i... hugz!

do re mi again!

i'm so so so slpy now... wen swimming n tanning @ daffy's wif jing wei... dunno y i'm so slpy... wanna zzzz... den YC say wanna go zouk.. reali broke n tired.. another day perhaps... i bought an adapter [finally].. haha... my internet is up n running n it make mi so so HAPPIE!!! wahahahaha...

my dear Mr mantimneu, if u dun wanna help urself, no1 can help u... dun always look 4 e ez way out... sometimes it's e journey tat matters! jia you k! call mi wen u nid 2 tok lah... i noe it's not much help cuz u can't reali tok 2 mi.... nvm... find sum1 u can confide in k? where is e charming barbarian, i know of? pick urself up k.. u reali nid 2 put on sum weight..

PRICE THEORY = GRAPHs?

wat kinda module name is tat?? haiyo... think tis is a killer module so e module name should b "killer graphs 101" but it sounds so depressing so they came up with a nice name tat gets u guessing abt wat e module is abt... i reali dun understand wat is tis module abt.. i juz take it as it is... as usual... e speed e lecturer is teaching is AMAZING... mayb i juz dunno how 2 listen n copy n understand @ e same time... i guess i gotta learn...

Mr Y.C- a degree simply means more books n notes... aiyo... e agony i'm in... i choose 2 do tis degree but i'm cursing myself 4 it... pray hard whenever i haf test n exams k... haha... yeah... miting alot of lovely ppl aft skool tml.. yum yum chicken, here i come!! [once again, food = joyzz] lucy,lucy, lucy... dying 2 cya... motivated by e lure of FOOD n good company!!! i will survive tml n thurs...

[listening 2 'i wanna run to u" by whitney houston now... who can i run 2? myself? my bed? hopefully one day i'll b able 2 find someone whom i can always run to... "tell mi will you stay or will you run away? will you hold mi in ur arms & keep me safe from harm?"]

skool is so...

haiyo... 1st day of skool n i dun understand anything @ all... all i could do is copy, copy, n copy 2 fill up my lecture notes... once again, i'm copying blindly [i'm grateful if i manage 2 copy everything he writes].. aiyo.. so so so many graphs 2 copy... i oso dunno which line comes b4 which... dotted.. a graph speaks a thousand words?? haiz...

skool =copy blindly [tat's 4 sure!!]

my handwritting sucks now... oh god... i shall stop @ a degree... [if possible] i wanna study no more 4 @ least 2yrs ... haha.. so scare of copying lecture notes [eeeeee...]..

yeah... finally, i think i miting lucy on wed... wahahaha... aft so long... miss her like crazy... haha.. gg 2 take PLENTY of pics... wahahaha... crazy mi... juz now wanna zzzz in class but now i feel so awake.. nv underestimate e power of a lecturer!

back 2 skool...

aiyo.. aft my long long long holidays, i'm finally gg back 2 skool tml...

skool = stuff 2 keep mi bz,

skool = sianz,

skool = i will learn 2 drive!!!

jia you ba!!!

yesterday went east coast 2 watch football with yong chuan, swee yee, li ling n jindi... i nearly fall aslp.. so now we all noe, football not equal 2 call joyzz... food = call joyzz, haha... i think tat's e onli think i always like... eating! lucky i'm a skinny ass... tat's e onli thing i can b happie abt, i guess... but cup noodles, snacks n beer=joyzz is so full... eeee... i have a tummy! so horrible looking!

[muz sae sorrie 2 yong chuan.. i forgot n hit him yesterday... i guess old habbits die hard.. sorrie... stop calling mi a pilot k!!]

unpredictable...

hmmm.... having fun now... i guess i realise since life's so unpredictable, i shld juz b happie wif watever is thrown in my way... it's my attitude towards e problem tat matters... as sum1 has told mi, if u dun think ur life is a mess, it'll nv b 1... haha...

haf been sad 4 2 months le... enuff is enuff... still dunno wat i wan but... y bother? god has plans 4 mi [i hope so..] i'll solve e problem wen it comes along.. in a beri good mod todae... feeling so HAPPIE... I'M SO HAPPIE.... feels so good 2 b cared 4... thanks 2 every1 out there who cares 4 mi... muacks... luvya.. gif u all a BIG HUG!!!