Monday, July 10, 2006

finally, i broke down...

broke down in skool today... scared e hell out of jindi n 10... [gal, thanks 4 being there... really thank u from e bottom of my heart!] i'm glad that finally i can cry... before i broke down today, i did not drop a tear since all this happened [everything was struck inside me! all my emotions, all e sadness n guilt... i think this is better for me...] i feel like i'm gg through a battle.. i know this battle is almost over. after e battle, i still have 2 heal myself from all e emotional wounds... this will be a long n slow journey but i can still see e silver lining so i'm not gg 2 give up yet... i will jia you! u guys will be there 2 support me right?

went through a crapy n tough econs lecture today... haiz... hell man! got so much shit that i really didn't catch... e lecturer like 2 call out 2 his "audience" 2 look for answers! scared e hell outta me when he called me... crap!!! money is something i want alot of- so money is a measure of wealth. dotted right?? really need 2 work hard on this module.. jia you again!!

auntie... i know e probability of u reading this is very low but... i never wanted 2 break up your family... they are all you have, i understand! as a daughter i understand what you are doing... no matter how much wrong i do/did, i'm always my parents' daughter n someone's sister! they always forgive me... your love for your son is something that never fails to amaze me! you give me e feeling that as long as you are alive, you will always be there for your son... that is something he should learn to appreciate... i hope he will see what you have done for him n be good... [i know you might blame me for all this shit but i'm just like you... all along i wanted to help him, to love n care for him. in the end, instead of helping him i might have harmed him... i never wanted this ending... if there's anything i can do to help... pls call me...]

[pls be forewarned... if i juz break down n cry when i'm with you guys, don't be alarmed! just give me a hug...]

Never underestimate the love of a mother for her children.

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