an emotional wreak now...

TRUSTED

1. To have or place confidence in; depend on.
2. To expect with assurance; assume: I trust that you will be on time.
3. To believe: I trust what you say.
4. To place in the care of another; entrust.
5. To grant discretion to confidently: Can I trust them with the boat?
6. To extend credit to.

There was once when i gave all my love n trust to someone unconditionally. In e end, all i receive are doubts, lies n heartaches... I don't want to find out more cause i don't want to hurt no more! I'll face it all after i gather all my courage n feel brave once again... perhaps your love for me is not deep enough, or perhaps we are not meant to be... It doesn't matter anymore now that e ending is like this...I will leave it to god to decide what's right n what's wrong. In e future, i might find myself stupid for making this choice now. but by then it will not matter anymore cause i would have learnt a lesson... I'll continue to search for my Mr right... I'm going to take alot of time, courage n effort for me to trust unconditionally again...

After this incident, i'm nothing but an emotional wreak... i don't know how to trust anyone anymore... i once trusted my life to him but.... where am i going to find e courage to love n to believe n to trust again? I was never afraid of walking home alone at night but now... i jump at e slightest sound... i feel so small, so tiny, so insecure... walked home after supper with angel.. my heart stopped beating for a moment when a bicycle went pass me... a bicycle scared e hell out of me... I know all of you really care for me... i'm just so scare... i want to run away from all this. Just dig a hole n hide myself away from e world... but i cannot! i had a choice then, i made my choice so i have to face e consequences...

i know all my frenz r willing to brave it together with me n i do not know how 2 appreciate you guys... i'm so sorry... i know it doesn't help... i really don't know what to do anymore... i'm so tired of being nice... i know it's not fair to e people around me when i am mean... i can't help it... i feel that all of you will leave me one day.. i'm so scare... i'm afraid that all of you will go away... i don't know how to react.. i'm losing it... i'm nothing but an emotional wreak... i'm acting normal because i don't know how to be normal anymore.. i've lost myself in e process of loving him! now i need to get myself back... this is a long n slow process that i got to go through by myself... sorry YC... don't mean it... haiz... dunno what to say anymore...