今天~明天~明年

明天是2006的最后一天。。。 又过了一年，我又老了一岁！I've been through alot this year... 我失去了我最爱的人，我看到了人的本性。We spent 2 years of bliss together. Inspite of all those heated arguements, nasty words, I loved you with all my heart & soul. We were in love & everything else didn't matter. That is all in the past. You made a choice & it was not us. I tried many ways to change your mind but it did not work. In the end, I chose to respect that decision & move on.

For the first time in my life, I didn't sleep for god knows how many days, I skipped plenty of meals & I cried plenty of tears... All of that in exchange for an important lesson in my life. The people who care most are usually those I neglect. 最不脐眼的人才是最重要的！ Although it was tough, thanks to those people who believe in me, I managed to recover... I can never be the same again. No more happy-go-lucky, I-don't-give-a-damn attitude... 我会学着如何做一个更好的我。

Another semester has passed! Didn't put in enough effort during all those lectures but I've managed to scrape through. I will find that determined part of me & put more effort in this coming semester. It has been tough & it will get tougher but I will work harder! 我们一起加油吧！只要你相信你做得到，you are half way there.

Thank you, my dearest friends & family! Thank you for not running away when I'm in tears (i know it's a terrible sight!). Thank you for those words of encouragement. Thank you for cheering me up! Thank you for believing in me. Most important of all, thank you for being part of my life.
因为有你，我的生命才完整。
joyzz & her 8 friends = plenty of fun filled days

What is wrong with me?

不开心。。。Whatever i do, I can't seem to put my heart & soul into doing it... I need to Focus... 我到底这么了？？ 心不在焉！~WIERD~ Perhaps i should just reboot my brain... Tinkle with the wiring & I'll be me again... I wanna be able to put my heart into every laugh, every tear, every bit of anger... Not just be numb... 以前潇洒的我呢？不见了吗？Where did i leave that part of me? It's just a lame posting...

The holiday...

Just leave everything behind to start finding myself in a place where nobody knows me? What a good idea... Will try that out when I have a chance... haha... The hoilday, what a great way to have one. Anyway, i love that movie! You guys gotta catch it! Yummy people, great scenes!

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY 21st cha cha 雄！Have a great day ahead k! Cya when you book out k?

Looked up the camping permit thingy.. It's on the National parks board webby... We can only camp at:
~Changi Beach Park
~East Coast Park
~Pasir Ris Park
~Sembawang Park
~West Coast Park
~Pulau Ubin

One part of the site says:"A camping permit is not required if you are camping on weekends and public holidays." Which means we do need a permit on weekdays but...

The FAQ says: What must I do to camp overnight in the parks?
Though permits are no longer needed for camping. We encourage all campers and park users to exercise courtesy toward others in carrying out their activities.

Hmmm...So what shall it be?? Lost... Please update your webby... You are getting me confused... Can't find that form to get permit anyway... so perhaps we don't need one?

Up next check out the death note showtime....

一个人的圣诞节。。。

Dear all! Merry Chirstmas! This is a time to remember to treasure all the important people around you! To note that they have always been around you when you need them...

To these people who are essential in my life, who makes it complete:
Thank you once again! From the bottom of my heart i wanna say " LOVE YOU, GUYS!" May you guys & your families have good health & truckloads of love!

Jin: Everything will work out just fine... Just take sometime to find what you really want...

Eve: It's time to have fun! Who needs boyfriends? We just need cute guys! Muackz! luvya to bits...

Li ling: Glad that everyone is unharmed... Let's meet up soon k?

Jean: The beauty of being single... You have showed me how it works.. hee

10: Gosh... We've gotta go back to school... Eeewww.... Let's have more fun before hell comes!

"木木"熊: Hee.. Kept you up all night.. Had fun on your b'day bash! Hope we've made it unforgetable! Won't get you drunk le lah.. I will try hard not to disturb you so much!

勇铨：Had plenty of fun with you people & of course there'll be more to come! Wonder when wil your gorgeous babe come to you?

Swee yee: Wow! Christmas in thailand! hmmm... Enjoyable trip i guess... (green with envy! I wanna go too... SHOPPING!)Missed you like hell.. now i do realise your importance!!! 原来你是那么重要的！


Muackz... With loads of hugs & kisses...

Why did it end up like that? Had a great day despite that!

不知道从何时开始，你对我有了这样的想法！我对你来说就只有这样的利用价值吗？我是你消遣的工具吗？对你是彻底的失望。。。真的以没有什么话好说了！不想再听到关于你的东西。。。你真的让我觉得很累！我受够了！Whatever happens to you is none of my business... You really do turn me OFF!!! I can't believe those words actually came out of your mouth! GOSH! You had the cheek to say that... 我认输了！

When Lot 1 for a KTV session with Miss Chua today.. Realy enjoyed myself though there was a tiny incident... The whole building blacked out. Scared me... haha... But luckily there were two of us. If i happened to be alone, What would i do?? Girl thanks for the birthday song k! Happy belated birthday to you too.... Hope you like the present... Thank you to that nice lady at Kbox too... Thanks for making it so sweet, lighted two candles in the room... haha...

Coffee & cake, best buddies & cute kids(+ dirty doggy) = wonderful combination...
A strong seabreeze & shorts not = good combination...
To sum it all up, I'll hang around with my best buds at coffee bean, talk & crap than to be bothered by some nonsense people! 心情不好出去兜兜风，说说话是最好的治疗！因为有了有趣的人就会把不开心的都忘掉！听着好听的歌，吹着冷冷的风，看这开心的朋友，一切事都忘了！It shall stay that way...

Gotta zzzzzzzz soon... My eyes can't stay open... Had a wonderful day! Thanks guys! sleep tight, sweet dreamz...

lazy, sleepy me...

hmmm... 最近的天气是最最适合睡觉的！！！ haha.. have been sleeping & lazing aroung for 2 days le... finally i decide to get my ass moving to town for dinner.. It's a pretty entertaining day actually... Poor YC had tears in his eyes while chewing his food... that poor guy is always sick... 隔两天就有新的病症。。。 What a poor boy.. Please take care of your health.. Anyway other than the chewing problem you look pretty fine to me.. haha... You & your stupid magic rope game.. Dumb of me... haiz.. I guess a con man never change his spots.. forgive you on account of that frozen yogurt lah.. I want my 冰淇淋 when you get well, k?

Anyway.. It' KTV with 蔡太太 tomorrow... so cya 蔡太！On friday it shall be a date with 滿城盡帶黃金甲... On saturday it'll be xiao xiong's 21st b'day bash!

Ps. When will we get that tent & go camping?? for those who dunno abt e idea, here's an update: we intend to gat a tiny bit of contribution from everyone to buy a tent & some food to go camping.. so exciting!!!

Pps. Lucy went to USA le.. Never tell any of us.. so mean of her!!! Boohoo...

Ppps. Won't be driving for awhile.. someone kissed my cutie car's ass! what a meanie!! Hope it'll be okie soon... i wanna drive to school... Btw, school's starting on 3rd january.. No more slacking!! must 加油！ I wanna be a grad next June..

classics.. people i love!

Bashful pics...

hmmm....

slept alot but i'm still so so tired... think i'm getting too lazy... gotta keep my butt going..

haha... had loads of fun @ my b'day bash.. though the attendance was pathetic but now i know that i can always have loads of fun with this few lovely, wonderful, gorgeous & handsome people...

又被放飛機。。。 doesn't feel good @ all... Gotta think what am i doing with my life.. I might want to do whatever i can for these people but are they wiling to do the same for me? Guess i've gotta treasure those people who really care for me... Whatever!?! 重要的是 i don't let these people down... the rest of them, it's kinda whatever... Perhaps i'm e one with the problem... lack of care & concern with their lives?

hmmmm... I'm getting lame...anyway, shall post e pics soon... i had tons of princesses & princes at my party.. don't worry k? i shall leave out all the paiseh ones. haha! If i do post them all, you guys would be the butt of the joke for a long time to come... thanks once again, for turning up & for e gift... muackz... luvya!

祝我生日快樂。。

Yippy... So happy... Ordered my gorgeous cake le... Wahahaha... Things seem to be going pretty smoothly for my birthday preparations... I'm so glad that all this people around me is helping me... Going shopping for chocolate later!! Still got plenty of barang to buy...

MUACKZ!! 愛你喔﹗﹗﹗

Ps. 陳勇銓先生﹐Thank you for e loan of that fountain.. muackz!
PPs. Dearest fairy godmother! Please ensure that this sunday (10th dec) is not a rainy day k?

tata! I'm going for a shower!!

What have i done?

This is juzt a form of expression
A way for people who care to know what's happenin'
It does not exist so that you can butt into my life
Reading this does not mean that you know me
so get out!!

Stop acting like i'm important
when your motive is not to see how i'm doing
It's to spy on the people aound me.
I want my freedom back!
The freedom to write as i wish
把我的自由還給我﹗﹗

祝我生日快乐。。。

生日礼物是什么？
生日party有谁来？
生日要吃什么？
好烦啊！！！

Hmmmm... You sound so sad! what happened? Care to share? What matters most is that you don't keep it to yourself... Sorry, didn't know you were unhappy eariler. Hope i didn't make your day worse! Cheer up, my friend!

Shocked...

Haiz.. got a shock of my life today... god... i was so sleepy (i still am) but i can't go back to sleep... haiz..

Don't you get it? I can't accept your gift? It's the thought that counts & I felt your sincerity. That is what that matters right? Will pass it back to you... I don't deserve it.. gosh.. I feel so sleepy now... nice weather to zzzzz....

Going to visit ice's grandma later... Gotta think of what i want for my birthday by tomorrow.. Actually, just want all my family & friends & their family to be healthy, happy & be able to enjoy life to the fullest!

如此困难的要求，我知道你们做不到。。。只想要你们快乐！ 因为你们快乐，我也会快乐。。。Cheers! muckz... Plenty of hugs & kisses to go around! (Mr tan will not get a hug cause he'll go "eeeee.... 你走开！！")

梦醒时，心好痛！

It hurts so bad now... I wanna say sorry! 《拥抱着 却格着最远的距离》I didn't mean to.. I wasn't thinking right at that point in time... I was dreaming but you were not in that sweet dream of mine... 很抱歉，但男主角并不是你。 是我错！我们也只能做一辈子的好朋友吧！

此刻从梦中惊醒的我是如此的心疼！对不起，伤害了你！我一早就该从梦中醒来。因为我的自私，然你受到了伤害。。。 真的很抱歉。。 没想过你对我还念念不忘。。。以为你和我的想法是一样的 but it's not! I really don't know what to say. It's all too late isn't it?

一辈子的好朋友~ 这句话让我好心酸。。。只因为我没勇气去面对！那就这样吧！也就只能做一辈子的好朋友。。。就算会心痛，就算眼泪会不由自主的落下， 我也会去面对！这是我的选择。。。

Ps. Thanks Mr Ee, for teaching us how to play pool..
have a good rest guys... muackz!

back from supper...

god... Had a paper prata with honey & a banana prata.. Yummy!!! so so so tired now... last task before i zzzzzzzzz..... is to edit my sis's report... gotta charge a fee for making me work OT.. i want to crawl onto my bed...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........

Dreaming...

偶像剧看多了也会做梦的啦！I've been dreaming too often recently... Should wake up from my beautiful dream 了！ ANYWAY, I'M BACK!!!!

I spent like 700RM & i only came back with a head of curly hair, a pair of CUTE pokka-dot heels, a pair of GOLD flip flop & a couple t-shirts.. I also don't know where i spent the money..

WooHoo... A CUTE guy did my hair.. hahahahahaha... so so happy... Enjoyed e couple of hours doing my hair cause of that 亮仔！Anyway i think he didn't do a very good job lah.. Cause i look like a god damn AUNTIE now.... But he's forgiven cause he's cute... I believe what his 师父 say lah.. the curls will loosen out to be WAVES!! I certainly hope so...

我该从梦中醒来了！

好忙啊！！

Went out my date of the day in search of the perfect present for my gorgeous cousin Miss Yeo!! We walk, walk & walked... (oh gosh! my legs are still aching!) Finally, Mr tan decided to buy the XXXXXX at buttXXXXks... It's because he's a THOUGHTFUL & CARING guy(not thoughtful & caring about how my legs felt but... forget it!)

Enough about this horrid date of mine... I shall concentrate on thinking what to buy in M'sia... YIPPY!!!

I shall not gossip about Mr Tan anymore or i will be punished... I will neither promote nor demote Mr Tan... He's a topic i cannot talk about if not 我会惨遭天浅。。 god.. Why don't have that "qian"??

friends, coffee & nice long chats!

hee.. Just finish dinner... Went sun plaza for coffee with Jin & PX.. As usual, our "oh! I'm so shy," Mr nice guy got bullied by me.. haha... He turns red so easily... So fun to tease him! haha... Hmmm.. He's booking in today if not can go for supper together... Then i can tease him again...

Watched Colic with jin just now. PX had to go back to camp so he didn't join us. Those stupid, irritating NS man behind us were so childish! They don't know how to SHUT UP in a cinema! Gosh! Kids half their age are more well behaved! Answering their mobile in the cinema! To think that there was an ad about mobiles in cinema. I guess they just simply don't get it! haiz... Should have drag PX to the movie then there'll be someone to scream at them...

Lucky for me... the movie is not too bad... Better than that 鬼丝。If this is as bad then I'll have to swear off horror movies for awhile...

Gotta go & get Ms Yeo's 生日礼物 tomorrow! Wonder what should I get... Cracking my head now...

An adventure ahead!

Wahaha... I'll be going for a spin tomorrow! How fun will it be? Mr Ee ---> my "handsome man" street directory & jin ---> 勇敢的冒险家 will accompany me on my adventure tomorrow. How long will we take to reach pasir ris park? It's 10's b'day bash... YIPPY!! haha... Went shopping for her present today... As usual Mr tan was full of comments.. had BK for dinner.. Hmmm... the last time i had it was after a stupid paper! back to Ms tan's present:

Shhhh....
是个秘密！！ 哈哈。。。(though i like the other one better but the present is not for me!) It's pretty special.. I mean it's from US, how can it not be special? Anyway， 经过千辛万苦的挑选。。。 We finally decided on this unique bugger! Hope you'll like it.. Muackz..

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY, 10!!

ps: Mr Ee, we didn't mean to exclude you from anything! Sorry!
pps: Mr tan, you've got potential to be a 专业狗仔！ 加油吧！ I think you'll have a future in that... 哈哈哈~

所为麻烦的女人，要的也只不过如此！

看来很任性，很不可理喻，很无理取闹的女人，要的也只是：
~ 一颗真爱她心
~ 满满的爱与关心
~ 许多的安全感与鼓励
~ 些许的耐心与宠爱
~ 给她受到保护的感觉
~ 了解她，和她相处的时间
~ 一些些她自己的空间

看起来如此简单的几样东西，却让人们深深的误解了女人的心。。。对很多女人而言，这些东西是多没简单的啊！也许是因为每个女人需要的份量都不一样，所以才那么麻烦吧！我们一旦开始坐下来聊就没完没了。。。 男人总是觉得女人罗唆，其实是因为 we understand each other a lot better & loads faster... Men need time to bond over their soccer games & beer, we do the same. It's just that we take longer to bond over coffee & shopping (I mean you can't drink coffee & shop at the same time right??)... When we click, we seem to have endless things to talk about... That's what girlfriends are for.. That's what I love about being a girl! Except for that everytime of the month thingy which SUCKS!!!!

对我们所爱的人, 要求很简单，也许需要一点时间了解后才知道该如何是好。。。How long it takes depends on the individual.. Guys, it helps if you have a close girl friend cause that will shorten the time considerably.. (provided your girlfriend doesn't get jealous of your girl friend lah! If not, then you can smell trouble!!)

一个女人的直觉 AKA so called "instution" 是很敏锐的。。。至少我认为是这样的！ 我知道我曾经真心的付出过，也曾拥有他的真心，但如今的我厌倦了。。。 再也不想去猜想你的脑子里到底在想什么！ 也不想再去想该这么做才是对你最好的！因为我觉得你连你自己想要什么都不懂。。。。 我又该如何去猜想呢？至少我懂我要的是什么。。。我知道我撑不住了，累了还是学会放手比较好！再拖拖拉拉也没有意思，不如就这样吧~

放手至少还留下了活口，我们都可以从新再来。。。人生不就是这样吗？失败了就从新在来。。 所为失败奈成功之母。。。 We just gotta learn to live with what we have done... Gotta face reality!

成長的過程。。。

Just heard something & i thought it's really interesting & meaningful so i'm sharing it with you guys...

《重要的不是已經犯下的失誤﹐而是失誤後面對的勇氣﹗》
It's so amazing, one short sentence that explain a whole lot of stuff... 感觸好生啊~

What a familiar scent...

Just met Ms yeo... Finally i caught a sight of her mysterious BF.. Quite good looking lah... haha.. they looking pretty cute together! Anyway, i left them alone to 甜蜜密。。。 I don't wanna be a 电灯泡！！ haha.. I think Lawerence(her BF) was kinda shocked cause we look quite alike but our personality is so different... I should be used to it by now... Everyone says we look alike... 她是我的姐妹，so it's ok... Glad to have a 姐妹like her any day, anytime... We can read each other's mind so very often...

Hmmmm... I caught a familiar scent when i was on the train, on my way back home... A scent that tiggered alot of memories... A scent that made me realise something back then.. A scent that tiggered a series of arguement... 算了吧！都已经过了那么久了，这么还放不下？ 从前如此洒脱的我跑到那里去了？

陈先生！！ 不要生气了啦！！不要那么小气嘛！！您大人有大量， 不会跟可爱的jin计较的啦！！ 啸啸气啦！！嗨呀，真是头痛！We also don't what to do when you are mad... We assume you are lah.. Cause based on our careful observations, the odds are 99 out of 100 that you are angry... haiz.. Don't know what to do le lah.. 真无奈啊~


Anyway.. I'll be catching a movie with angel tomorrow! I hope it'll be nice... muackz... nitey people~ Tomorrow will be a better day!

Yippy... What a happy day...

Ah dong went to learn parking today!!! haha.. I did not crush my brother & i did not ruin the car!! maybe i did scratch the rims lah.. But i guess everyone did that before.. I don't care lah.. Just glad that i finally can park the car.. I know i'll be constantly lost & therefore be late if i do drive out but it's ok... It's Ah dong you are talking about! So pls lower your expectations... hehee..

Anyway, i'm going to meet my dearest cousin, Ms yeo for coffee later... Mr tan, don't say i never jio k! We'll be at sun plaza.. Wanna join us?

I need time...

Just reached home... Had supper with steph at Mac just now... As i walked home alone, i couldn't help myself but recall that faithful day. It was exactly how i felt at that point in time, lonely & sad... The street was empty... And there i walked alone, back to my house, not accepting what has happened.. Now i'm only left with all those if i.. If, what a powerful word. If only i was wise enough to listened to your mum & left you alone to do whatever you wanted to... If only...

Since it is the past then there's no point with thinking all those "only ifs" cause today we can only be strangers. No matter how much we try to act normally around each other, it still turns out wierd cause some things can never be forgotten... Everytime I see or hear news about you, it still stings but I've just gotta face the fact that you have moved on, & I should also be doing the same... Whether I like it or not the earth is still spinning, time is still flying by! I gotta learn how to move on, to fall in love again, to trust someone so much again.... It's tough but I believe I can do it... I just need time...

心还是会痛，但日子依然还是要过。。。 为了不要再让关心我的人担心，我也只好努力坚强的继续生活。。。我相信我可以做到的！！ 加油！！！

灰灰的天气。。。

Oh... What nice weather for me to lazy around & curl up on my bed... How i wish i could... but today is Pricillia's 21st b'day!! Happy birthday girl! muackz.. cya later at MOS k!

灰灰的天气， 懒懒的心情。。。

偶遇。。。

为什么曾经如此相爱的两个人，如今的偶遇会是如此的陌生？ 难道他就是所谓的“最熟悉的陌生人"?
《曾经孤单加上孤单是爱火 烧过你和我 如今沈默加上沈默更沈默 再没有什舍不得》也许我和他就是如此吧！ 所为的天时，地意，人合， 我想当时我们也只有人合吧！ 在当下的我们是如此的深爱着那十八，九岁的彼此。。。我们随着时间而变化，但我们变化的速度却不一。。。 所以就沦落到今天这种局面！彼此也都没什么话好说 了吧！

when bowling with YC, PX, Mr Ee, jin, Wen Shan & YC's cousin today! Actually I didn't intend to bowl, just wanted supper.. 哈哈！I'm a glutton as usual.. But something unexpected happened! 哇哈哈！吓倒了吧！终于见识到我的利害了吧！hehee... Finally i'm doing better... I'm so happy!! So i do know more than shopping, eating & sleeping.. Cause now, I can bowl!!! Watch out! I'll get better!! 原来这世界上真的没有做不到的事！ 至少也要去尝试啊！ You'll never know if you never try! I tried, so now I know i can bowl! hehee.. So so happy... Further more， all of us condemn Mr Tan, our beloved driver, today.. haha.. So happy! For once, all of us work so hard for a common goal that is to condemn YC! hehee... Kidding lah... Just happy to see the con man being punished! 陈先生那么宽容大量，不会和我们一般见识的啦！对不对，陈董？哈哈~ (That's the punishment for leaving Jin & me there for so long!! 女人是绝对不可以惹的！)

Anyway, Thanks for the ride. And thank you for organising the trip to genting. I know it's hardwork! So if there's anything i can do to help, pls do let me know k? MUACKZ!!

Love you guys for always being there for me, & for adding endless laughter in my life.

What a day...

hmm... Met angel today.. It has been so long since i last met her... 好想她啊！ Had a long and good chat wth her... Missed the good old days when we would just sit and talk for god knows how many hours... Anyway, i'm so glad that we have achieved what we set out to do... YIPPY!! I shall cya on sat k... MUACKZ! 爱你！

莫名奇妙的觉得好心酸啊。。。 这么会那么不公平啊。。。我想这也是没办法的吧！没人说过这世界是公平的啊！但你就这样任命吗？连蚂蚁都会做摧死的振扎，难道你连蚂蚁都不如吗？I never thought it'll end like that... All I can say is don't give up without a fight k? Where is that fighting spirit in you? Ain't you the one who never gives up without a fight? What happened? Where's that never say die attitude? This world is never fair! Nobody said it is! So you gotta fight for what you want, for what you believe in! This is life... 加油吧！I still believe you didn't do it. And I know you'll not admit to something that you've never done. If you have done it, you would have confessed a long time ago... Don't give up now! 加油!

我真的没有那么宽容。。。

我就是我，如此的直接，如此的真。。。 我不喜欢躲躲闪闪的过着日子。 不是因为我不懂得体谅别人的感受而是因为我不想 make things worse... 也许一走了之不是办法但我真的忍不住了。。我看起来很好欺负吗？ How could you do that? Is your EQ really that low? oh god... You really do drive me crazy... but this will be the last time you ever will... 我不会再让你看笑话了！！ Only in your dreamz.. Never will it happen again.... 我累了。。不想再和你玩了。。 你连自己要什么都不懂。。 So don't drag me into it... It's not my fault that you can't make up your mind.. If you can't take me as a friend then said so... I'm not your toy! I don't exist so that you can play with my feelings... 说一套，作揖套。。。你还真的是见人说人话，见鬼说鬼话。。。。真的好神奇啊！ Now that I really seen your true colours, I shall leave you in my past as a classical case of 爱错！

learn to let go, gal!

haiz... just talked to daffy... i just wanna say that no matter how much you love her, you've gotta learn to let go... she can always have a space in your heart and you can also choose to wait for her. just remember that it takes two hands clap. You may not believe it but it's true that time heals all wounds... give yourself plenty of time... Time for you to heal, to learn, to find yourself again..

yippy... KTV later.. Xiong ge ge jio 1 leh... Mr lee also know how to jio us for a KTV session... WOW!!! what a surprise!! hehee.. it's a rare occassion for Mr Lee to sing...

hahahaha... EXAMZ R OVER!!

hey ya!!! It's time 2 celebrate cause my examz are over... Woohoo!! i've slept for 15 hours but i'm still so so so tired... haiyo...

when 2 meet eve after my paper yesterday.. thought i'll be dead beat but amazingly i survived till about 2 am... haha... we had a late lunch @ pastamania cenileisure than we went shopping.. or rather i accompany her to go shopping... haha.. under my influence, she bought a micro- mini skirt!! haha... had many wonderful conversations with her.. my best buddy ever.. think she's gg to N.Y tonite... hope it'll be a good flight with plenty of nice people.. hee...

oh god.. i'm still so tired but i'm kinda amazed that my body could survive so long.. i can tell you that i didn't wanna get up just now.. it's just because i'm so goddamn hungry & thirsty... now that i've had my dinner & watched e tv, i wanna glue my body back 2 my bed.. haha...

i think i'm going 2 spent some time letting my body recover from this round of trauma.. my body will be grateful for it.. yawn yawn.. i can't take it anymore... i'm going back 2 slp (i just woke up like 3 hours ago).. nitez people...

i had a bad day which ended up fine... all thanks to..

wahahaha... E paper today was horrid... i predicted e questions, i prepared e answers but i didn't memorise it well enough! And there was no time for me to recall... haiyo! 20 mins to answer a 20 mark question... did the lecturer who set this rule attempt to finish the paper within the time limit? He/ she must have been through the same shit and wants to torture us the same way.. sob sob sob sob... sob sob sob sob.. so depressed over this paper... i was so frighten during the paper that i couldn't write properly! i guess in the end there's no 1 to blame but me... haiz... what's done cannot be undone... feel like crying e whole day.. i just wanna break down but i can't cause i'm so scare that i'll sleep for a long time after crying then i'll have no time for biz finance... just 2 more days then i can let it all go..

i met 2 very sweet cab drivers today.. but i don't remember their license plate...

THANK YOU!!

cab uncle no 1: so sweet of you to ask me to take care while crossing the road...

cab uncle no 2: thanks for reversing just to pick me up.. i know you had to rush to another location to pick someone up... but you reserved illegally on e rd to pick me up cause i was standing in e rain.. THANKS..

I.O: thanks for wishing me luck for my paper... it's really nice of you...

you guys made my day, you guys made it better... loads better... for that, i thank you! hope you guys had a nice day too... LOOK OUT! many more nice days ahead!!

i feel so sad... for him and for myself.. i saw how the IO reacted when he knew you had a illness.. and yet, i cannot blame him for acting like that. cause i know i would have reacted the same way if i didn't know you as well as i do... i know it's difficult but try to ignore people's (meanie's) reaction.. cause they are not what that matters most. what matters most is that the people who care for you, believe in you... don't give up on yourself k. Hope, wish and pray.. Hope is what alot of people are living for...

Sorry, i can only remind you of the past.. a not very happy past.. We made a mistake together... we took each other for granted... now that we have realised the mistake, let's all change for the better together... I still care but i'm sure if i had a chance to start all over again, i'll still make the same mistake. Cause i'm in e process of 'changing for the better' ( i hope) but i'm not sure if i'm there yet... yet, i'm sure we'll be better friends than boy-girlfriends.... so let's b friends...

we all make mistakes, some tiny ones & some changes your entire life. we made a huge mistake that changed both our lives... Some people live in regret for making that kind of mistakes but i'll go on in life cause i learnt my lesson & i wanna see if i ever make it again.. I'll take my chances by facing what i did... i hope you will not give up... i sense that you really realised your mistake this time round. i hope you'll be given a chance... Take care, my friend...

Mr Tan: so sorry for e misunderstanding.. i know her friend couldn't meet her last minute that's why she decide to join us.. You didn't lie.. sorry for being so mean that day... sorry for hanging up on you.. it was so rude of me.. Thanks for forgiving me... hee... it's so nice of you...

TO: ALL E PPL WHO LOVE & CARE FOR ME
THANK YOU - for taking e time & effort to make me part of your life. For showering me with care & concern, for encouraging me when i'm down & out, for lending me a shoulder to lean on, for praying that i will pass my examz. Most of all... thanks for accepting me for who i am.. e noisy n irriating gal who is also sturbborn, short tempered, petty & mean at times.. thanks for accepting all my short comings... if u ever feel that i'm taking u 4 granted, i'm sorry... pls tell me.. i'll remember 2 try not be so mean...
i love u!! muacks..... my thanks along with plenty of warm hugs n kisses....

i feel so many things all at once..

hmmm.. i guess i'm too stressed out... i wanna let go of all this stress cause right now i'm acting like a stretched rubber band. i know it sounds wierd but i've got alot of stuff figured out during this stressful period. i think it's because i overloaded my tiny, pinky, brain & it got fried.. haha.. then i become smarter! (so lame but whatever.. that's me!)

i realised trust is so goddamn important in relationships -- it doesn't matter whether it's between friends, BF & GF or family.. Trust is e word! Once i couldn't trust & now i know without it, there's nothing to talk about. E numerous examples that i have seen proved that but will i always remember it? i certainly hope so.

I figured out why i wanna get a BF when i'm single & why i wanna be a single when i'm attached. The reason being:

a couple in love > Single > an unhappy couple

A lovely equation create by joyzz! haha! To think of it, it's really simple. why didn't i realise it sooner? Two people unhappy in their relationship always think that it's better to be a singleton while a single is always envious of a loving couple.

What i want & NEED to do after examz ( oh god, i actually have a plan!):
~Clubbing
~KTV
~Sleep
~Cycling @ whatever park
~Roti prata for supper--> *hint hint wink wink* Y.C
~Catch up with daffy
~Go Ms Yeo's house to slack, enjoy & have fun

To eve: i'm so sorry i can't be enjoying with you during your leave. i feel so bad about it. so i'm going to shower you with *HUGS 'N' KISSES*.. haha.. will spend alot more time with ya when my examz are over. Luvya!! *MUACKZ* make it up to you when we can go clubbing together k. We'll have a hair raising time together.

There something i really wanna say to this other friend of mine...
"yes, i think of you as a friend now. If you ever see this, pls remember that i believe you. i know what happened, & i know you feel like giving up now. i'm so sorry i can't be there for you. i feel so bad but i think i'm not one person who can be there for you. believe me when i say i'll pray for you. As your friend, if you treat me as one, i don't wanna see you like that. If you feel uncomfortable after reading this, i'm sorry. i just want you to be fine."

My words of encouragement to him: "hey, pls take care of yourself. you've still got people trusting & believing you. so don't give up! Pls do not give up! once you give up, there's nothing left for them to fight for! I know you understand what i'm saying but it's a matter of whether will you do anything about it. i believe you didn't do it so don't give up on yourself."

I wanna thank all my friends out there for being so forgiving

towards me even when i'm mean. If i ever let you guys feel

taken for granted, pls let me know... cause I'm sorry...

MUACKZ! Luvya.. & i hope u guys luv me too... hee (^_^)

Lucy says HI!!

had a chat with my beloved poodle, lucy just now and she says hi!! especially to all e birthday boys and girls (Jean, Mr Ee and Mr Tan).. feeling so tired now but at least e project is sort of almost done.. still got some loose ends to tied up and we are done..

It not like it alot better cause e examz are coming but just look on the bright side lah.. lucy's examz will only end on the 22nd of nov... i was irritated by a 4000 word report while she has a 6000 word one to complete.. I gotta realise how lucky i am...

It's always till when things are gone, before we learn how important it is to treasure what you have... It's not good to be too greedy, I should be happy with what I have cause there are two sides to every coin...

To all my friends out there:

I LOVE YOU!!

Pls take care..

till e next time we meet, so long..

with loads of hugs & kisses (MUACKZ)

trip 2 e park

Just finished bathing.. i smell so nice... haha (^_^)
When to Pasir ris park with my lovely driver Mr Tan Y.C and my beloved cousin Ms Yeo... haha.. went cycling... haven't been doing it for a long long long time... i acted like a kid.. A trip to e playground... haha.. swings and all.. it was loads of fun with so many adorable kids there.. after that it was a trip to find good food!!

i guess i was suppose 2 exercise to keep fit but i think i gain more fat in e end...

2 glasses of iced lemon tea,

a chicken cutlet &

a spicy piece of stinkray shared by all...

that was dinner and now, i'm thinking of supper !! more food... i gotta gain some weight after all.. haha.. piggy out on watermelon juice now.... supper.. yum!

<我们吓倒了!> KTV session on 06.09.2006

女主角

吓倒了！

what's wrong with swee yee and peng xiong?

probably they cannot understand why 我们吓倒了then suddenly so happy again..

又 吓倒了！

领悟~

我们之间的距离太大了。。。 再一起的时候我们都式着互相迁就，但这却让我们彼此都很辛苦。。。我们都不肯说出口。。。终于这距离让我们分离了。。。 我们依然相爱着，但爱下去真的很难。。。 我们之间的误会太多了。。 彼此也不再信任对方了！

I don't know if this is to make myself feel better, cause to a certain extent i till cannot understand why this happened... i doubt i can ever comprehend why you hurt me like that but i know it hurts so bad because i loved you alot..

My heart still aches... It still hurts but i can see that you have moved on and i will also try to do so... I realised the fact that there is no future to us cause we are so so different though our character is so alike... I guess you love living your life on the edge and I loved it too when i was younger... As time passed, i begin to think more and more of our future, a future together.. But you were still the same! I guess some things never change... And as i thought of our future, i begin to change you.. From a barbarian to a civilised human being... As hard as we wanted to give in to each other, we felt really unhappy... But none of us would admit that it's not working out.. And finally the distance between us is so huge that there's no way we can be together anymore...

我终于领悟到了。。。我错了。。。 勉强是没有幸福的。。。我们都不适合！我祝你幸福。。过去的就让它过去。。。回忆永远是最美的！

啊~ 多么痛的领悟 你趁竟是我全部。。。

Why do you still care?

I'm so goddamn confused... Why remind me of how much you care? You have a new girlfriend now... You guys are happily in love.. SO SPEND YOUR TIME AND EFFORT ON HER!!! I'm trying very hard not to break down... I'm trying really hard not to make another mistake... why are you tempting me? Don't pity me, i don't need your sympathy! I made a promise and i wanna keep it... You will not understand because you don't keep them...

You do not understand how much agony I'm in... You don't know how hurt i am, simply because you are not me... I really did love you alot.. I don't know why but i did.. This wound needs long term care... I know it... The care will not be from you cause you gave up your right a long time ago.. So stop it! You cannot help me just like i cannot help you... You don't believe me cause i don't believe you either... Whatever i say is just bullshit just as your words are to me... As much as i wanna help you, i cannot.. Simply because I need you to trust me for me to help... But the trust between us is long gone... And it'll take a bloody long time for it to build up... Time, a promise and the law is against us! Though there's a song named "against all odds" i'm simply too hurt to try... I'm still doing all i can to help you but I don't want your thank you till you understand and admit what your loved ones are doing for you... Instead of spending time on me, spend it on your mum... I cannot think of anyone who deserves your time more than her! I can tell that she devastated ever since she knew what is going to happen to you... I know you will not listen to me.. I've said my share, the rest is up to you...

My heartaches for you but you'll not understand why till when someone you REALLY love break your heart. The day you understand all this crap i'm going through is the day when we can talk without you cursing me at the end of the coversation... That will be the day that i finally think all this pain is worth it! I believe the day will come, and i pray that it will not be too late.

Actually i feel that deep in your heart you know that everything we are doing right now is for YOU! It's all for your own good and you just don't wanna admit it.. It seems that you have a problem admitting that people are indeed doing things for you.. You have a problem admitting your weaknesses! But who doesn't have weaknesses? No man is perfect!! You don't get it do you?

Perception...

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder... In a word, it's perception...

how do you perceive the following:
I miss him so much.. It still hurts alot, definitely more than it should.... So much time has passed, yet so little is forgotten... No matter how much i miss him and how much it hurts, i force myself to remember why we broke up in the first place... I want to move on... But if i can't let him go, how am i going to? That is my perception of this problem... It's bugging me... And if i don't solve it soon, it will not stop bugging!! [GO AWAY YOU STUPID BUGGER!!!!]

I want to throw myself in someone's arms and pretend that he doesn't exist! I want to hide in a hole and run away from all this madness... I want to just love myself and nobody else! i wouldn't get hurt then... Yet, a life alone is full of loneiness... I guess running away isn't the solution and when i've gotten over him it will be a been there, done that kinda thing..

I know it will take some time before i finally get over him but i wll try, try and try! Just like i will try, try and try to study for my price theory test tomorrow! [ i guess you people think that i've already started studying for e test but in fact, nothing got touched!! And all i can think about is... God send me a nerdy angel who's perferably good in price theory!]

Close substitutes...

I've realised that his love for me is only as much as he claims because he says e same thing to every other girl he meets.. No doubt to e one who's currently in his arms...

To each and everyone of us he says that "the other girl" is a substitute... the truth being how many other girls are there? He's looking for a substitute all along.. i'm just one of them.. though i dunno who did i substitute but i know the only one he really loves is himself... He doesn't need friends or girlfriends... He survives by loving himself and making himself happy all e time.. doesn't matter who's heart he broke it doesn't matter what he has said cause he says it to everyone else..

maybe i'm jealous but i'm glad that this will all end tomorrow.. So much for that "i still love you".. keep those words for yourself... Since i'm so easily substitutable, the demand will fall when the price rise.. I don't wanna be an inferior good anymore.. in your eyes i'm nothing more than that.. So i shall not care about how you look at me anymore.. Cause all e hurt and heartache will go away when i saw how easily substitutable i am in your eyes...

i wanna take a break...

Didn't write for sometime... My PC broke down.. sob! Maybe I'm just running away, from him and everything.. I feel so broken, I don't know what I want, how i feel... it' been so difficult, so painful... It hurts real bad right now... Everywhere i go, it reminds me of e happier times we had together. i really wanna find a hole and hide myself inside... Away from this world that brings me plenty of pain...

He doesn't understand what i've been trying to say... Now, i give up... there's no point hurting me anymore... It hurts so much that i don't think i can feel anymore pain! I have no more trust in you... Ask me why i don't wanna hear from you! e answer being i want you to stay as an angel in my heart! I've uncovered so many lies that i don't wanna hear another word from you.. I'm just so afraid that e next sentence from you is also a lie. Onelie just leads to another... I've given up on you been truthful to me... I so tired.. So wore out and so sad... my tears have dried up, my heart is already so broken...

All this shall end this way because there's not much of a chance of things changing, maybe it's because i don't believe that it will change at all.. That will be a joke to me.. anyway.. tml will be better!! ZOUK is e place to be... see ya all there!! muackz... feel so much better... haha

Once i was so in love with him... Despite the numerous difference between us, i loved him so... I don't mind his past, i chose to believe and love in him. Maybe i did not know how to treasure him, maybe we just had too much differences but it doesn't matter anymore 'cause I'm no longer wiling to try anymore.

Love is blind... I don't blame him, 'cause there's no one to blame! i played a part in this and i know it. I admit, i'm not the perfect girlfriend, i did throw tantrums, i was mean at times.. I wanna become a better person but i don't think i am one yet.. So i don't think there'll be a difference even if we start all over again...

I've already ran out of ways to tell you that we will not work out.. Why are you still so persistant? Are you just trying to make it up to me? I don't even know if you really love me or are you just trying to make it up and prove everyone wrong... I'm sure of one thing though, I think we are not suitable for each other... The more you try to explain, the more i feel so.. So give me the time and space i deserve... Things have changed... I'm no longer blindly in love with you...

oh god... i'm breaking down...

i've been lying on my bed e past 8hrs but i couldn't fall aslp.. can someone just knock me out? my body tells me i'm so so tired.. my brain says Y did u do it? i made a terrible mistake yesterday! i had good intentions but it turned out so bad... i feel so bad about it.. oh god.. wat did i do? i just took him back 2 hell... i shouldn't be so selfish... i'm gg crazy soon.. crap...

i just wanted to know if he's ok.. I shld have hung up when he said i shld leave him quietly... All the i should have... it's so so so painfully for me right now.. it is so difficult... i need a shoulder to cry on.. i feel so alone... wat's happening to me? i dunno...

I juz wanna b me.. but who am i?

i care too much about the people around me? actually i'm just taking the shortest route out! i don't wanna be nagged so i do what i'm told.. i feel so upset.. has any of those people who care SO SO SO SO much abt me [AKA my parents] asked me how i feel and what i want? they just do as they please... den why be bothered with my problems? since you all don't care how it is solved, you just want it solved [if i don't exist, the problem wouldn't either]... Is that the best for me??

He has no one there for him [not someone whom he wants anyway...] and i just wanna be there for him... Cause i feel the same... He just needs someone who needs him.. I don't need advice, I need some one who wants to listen to what i have to say... i need to feel needed... i don't know who am i anymore... i can't be bothered to find myself cause i don't know where to start... i'm just so lost.. i just wanna find a hole and hide.. running is not e solution blah blah blah... maybe running away from all this is what i need...

we humans are jus using each other.. we need each other to survive.. then why do i not feel needed? i need company, i need a hug now.. all this tears flowing out... for what? i don't know.. i'm just so unhappy.. even my PC is bullying me.. it's craping me..

i know this is part and parcel of life and i'll feel better when this is all over but when?? there's always a but behide all the good news.. i've always been impatient with everything i do.. when i can't decide, i just grab the nearest one.. Is god trying to teach me patience? Did i just make it tougher for myself? i don't know... hell with it.. i don't care.. I tried to be a saint and apparently i'm not one.. so i will not act like one anymore. you shall do as you please and i will do the same...

There was once back in time, when we were inter-dependent on each other.. Along the way, we lost ourselves and parted ways. It is till now that we realise the importance of each other.. It is till now that i know we cannot be together because.. we don't have a chance anymore... i will move on because i have to... It has all been too painful! perhaps i'll be able to find happiness and learn how to treasure it... but it is you who taught me how to love and for that i'll always remember you.. You know you'll always have a special place in my heart!

I need him in my life or rather, life was lot better with him around [ when he was not fooling around].. now i'm all alone.. i need a boyfriend [ just kidding! i lost a person whom i love deeply... i don't know how will i love again...]but first i need to learn how to trust... then i need the right guy to appear.. [haha.. preferbly tall, cute and rich!! i'm dreaming once again..] As usual... my plan is not to plan anymore cause nothing goes according to my plan.. It's too perfect, i live in a world where there are butterflies and everything nice... I live in my dream...

Moral of the story: a dream will only be a dream.... [ @ least in my case...]

Lost once again..

Haiz... I don't know what to do once again.. Is leaving him the best for us? I'm doing everything i can to please everyone but... It's so difficult for both of us... I still don't know if he loves me or lusts for me.. Will i ever find out?

loving you = staying with you?

I don't agree... Once i loved you so.. That's why i set you free.. I gave you the freedom to choose what you think is the best for you... I believe if we are meant to be together, nothing in this world can stop us.. And we are not meant to be, we will break up sooner or later... you are not willing to put us to the test, why? It's a make or break kinda thing.. If we are able to brave through this together, our relationship will be stronger than ever... But if we do not make it, we shall face the truth & stop lying to ourselves. With every risk, there comes a return... The return for this risk is the truth... Perhaps for once we should just risk everything in return for the truth.. It takes two hands to clap... i can't do this alone.. Cause it concerns us...

Something nice tomorrow?

hmmm... today is fine, i guess.. haha! fell asleep during lecture.. he's so so so so boring!! haiz... But i still need to survive it tml... Don't feel like going tomorrow.. Already skipped one of his lectures so i think i shall try to be a good girl tomorrow.. After school it's going to be dinner with my family [I'm a daddy's girl.. haha].. Looking forward to something nice. [Drooling right now.. YUMMY!!] Food, Food & FOOD!! haha... my favourite.. hee.. so the plan for tomorrow is: meet him [if i can get my ass out of my bed..], go to school, then the finale a good dinner & maybe some shopping? I'm going to have a great day tomorrow...

Stupid YC drinking alone.. don't know how to SHARE!!! MEANIE... Tempting me..

The begining of the end?

I'm still waiting for the results... haiz.. I don't know what the results will be like.. I hope it'll be mild.. I still care alot.. perhaps too much.. The more i care, the deeper i sink... It doesn't matter anymore! I'll be contented if he's ok... All i want is for him to be happy & safe [something that i cannot give]..

My dearest, you gotta learn how to look for your happiness... It's your life, you have gotta find something to make it worth living. Don't get a girl & say that she's your reason to live... You are putting the burden on her.. Don't let history repeat itself! Find someone you wanna share your life with... Someone willing to share all the joy & happiness, sadness & disappointment in life.. Take care my friend.. That's all i have to say... Time will tell...

Rainy day.. I feel so blue but i till gotta go to school... Smile & i hope my day will be better.. To everyone who's reading this: Have a nice day!!

been in a fantasy 4 e past 2 days...

Have been living in my own world since monday night.. It was like old times... Did i do the wrong thing? Who has the right to judge? I don't know & I don't care... It felt good to act like a brat! haha...

"There's nothing quite as precious as trust" i told him that & he knows that i have minimum trust in him now.. I'll not keep my hopes up high... I'll be neutral cause neither of us knows where this leads to.. Prove your words with actons k? I will move on... You will always stay in my heart, you know you will.. I'll be your special friend! Till when i can trust you again, i will only stay a special friend. I don't care how others look at me, as long as i believe in you [ I don't know how long it will take before i believe in you again but time does miracles]... It's going to be an uphill journey cause you have lost all the trust that me, my family & friends have placed on you... That will take time & effort... Like i said, you can do anything you want to as long as you put your heart into it.. It's a matter of how much you want it.. No matter what, she'll always be part of this friendship... You can never totally remove her from your life! Time will tell the truth.. Are you staying for good? i don't know.. It doesn't matter... You can care for me more than you would for anybody else & still love someone else... I'll respect that... Cause people change & we move on... Perhaps this will just be a fantasy, perhaps this will lead to something else... We shall see how it goes...

Back 2 earth...

I was on a vacation yesterday 4 a couple of hours... haha... Actually i was @ sunset bay with a couple of my buddies!! Though there were just 5 of us butit was plenty of fun as usual.. i felt so so good yesterday.. so relaxed.. felt like i can choose not to care about what's happening on "earth".. But now, it's back to earth for me.. haiz.. Actually, i've been back since i reached woodlands yesterday... long story... 1 for another day...


All the hunks & babes present!!















Wondering what were we doing in the shower?
This is what we did:














He doesn't know how lucky he is...
Will someone give him a clue?



















The sun, the sea & the BABES!!
What more do u want?














Look @ my butt!!
Yes, i do have a BUTT!!

an emotional wreak now...

TRUSTED

1. To have or place confidence in; depend on.
2. To expect with assurance; assume: I trust that you will be on time.
3. To believe: I trust what you say.
4. To place in the care of another; entrust.
5. To grant discretion to confidently: Can I trust them with the boat?
6. To extend credit to.

There was once when i gave all my love n trust to someone unconditionally. In e end, all i receive are doubts, lies n heartaches... I don't want to find out more cause i don't want to hurt no more! I'll face it all after i gather all my courage n feel brave once again... perhaps your love for me is not deep enough, or perhaps we are not meant to be... It doesn't matter anymore now that e ending is like this...I will leave it to god to decide what's right n what's wrong. In e future, i might find myself stupid for making this choice now. but by then it will not matter anymore cause i would have learnt a lesson... I'll continue to search for my Mr right... I'm going to take alot of time, courage n effort for me to trust unconditionally again...

After this incident, i'm nothing but an emotional wreak... i don't know how to trust anyone anymore... i once trusted my life to him but.... where am i going to find e courage to love n to believe n to trust again? I was never afraid of walking home alone at night but now... i jump at e slightest sound... i feel so small, so tiny, so insecure... walked home after supper with angel.. my heart stopped beating for a moment when a bicycle went pass me... a bicycle scared e hell out of me... I know all of you really care for me... i'm just so scare... i want to run away from all this. Just dig a hole n hide myself away from e world... but i cannot! i had a choice then, i made my choice so i have to face e consequences...

i know all my frenz r willing to brave it together with me n i do not know how 2 appreciate you guys... i'm so sorry... i know it doesn't help... i really don't know what to do anymore... i'm so tired of being nice... i know it's not fair to e people around me when i am mean... i can't help it... i feel that all of you will leave me one day.. i'm so scare... i'm afraid that all of you will go away... i don't know how to react.. i'm losing it... i'm nothing but an emotional wreak... i'm acting normal because i don't know how to be normal anymore.. i've lost myself in e process of loving him! now i need to get myself back... this is a long n slow process that i got to go through by myself... sorry YC... don't mean it... haiz... dunno what to say anymore...

my blog is just a form of expression!

hmmm... i don't what 2 say but all i know is that this is one place for me 2 vent my frustrations n tell ppl abt what's gg on wif my life. this is definately not a place for u ppl 2 read up n worry abt me... i'm ok... i will be... i don't mean 2 cause any of u 2 get worked up... i'll cheer up n that will take time... i know u all care 4 me n that's why u guys get worked up... thanks 4 all e care n concern... i'll b ok....

esp. 2 u, Mr YC!! i WILL be ok... i mean u know me 4 so long le... i'll brave it all out in e end... i'm no hero, i do break down n cry... when i do cry, it's just a form of expression, an emotional release... it means that i'm unhappy but aft crying i do feel better.. so it's ok... don't ask me not 2 care abt him, it's just like asking u 2 stop caring 4 your princess X.Y... it's difficult isn't it? so it's not easy for me either... i might be strong but i still need time 2 heal...no one can tell me how long 2 take, what 2 do etc... running is not a solution. u agree rite? sometimes i'm just tired of facing everything head on, i break down n take time 2 feel sorry 4 myself... sooner or later, i'll pick myself up n move on again... it's part of a process in my life... just want u 2 understand! listen to Tong En's "yi xia xia" perhaps u'll get what i'm saying..

[my dearest boy... don't be sad... i'm here rooting 4 u... i might not be right beside u now but i care, i'm anxious abt u... i'm so sorry, i left u alone but what's e use of sorry? i cannot change what i have done, all i can do is apologise for my mistake n hope that u'll forgive me... u must learn how 2 take good care of yourself k? be a good boy... do u know that u are so cute n lovable when u try n be an angel? although u might smell wierd but... nvm.. private joke! haha... u'll stay here, in my heart...]

["..even if u took my heart n tore it apart, i will love u still forever..." from e song "forever" by Damage... do u mean it? or u did not hear that part or u still love me but u don't forgive me?]

Recovery in process... [i hope]...

hmmm... heard alot of things tat i was dying 2 hear... only if i heard these words sooner... all this would never happen... i guess he's not sure of how he feels before all this happened...

like i said if i can be there 2 hug u 2 slp n 2 feed u, i will... i rush now this very minute... pls try 2 eat something k? get some rest too... i know it's not easy, i'm gg through e same thing... it's not easy for me either... but i have to do it... if not my body will just break down n u'll have one less supporter... everyone, who cares for u, is rooting for u! we r all standing behind u, supporting u all e way... if u urself break down, how r we gg 2 continue supporting u? be strong k? i know it's not easy but pls try ur best... i know that if u set ur heart 2 something, no one can stop u! we'll pull through this together... just remember that u r always on my mind... no one can stop me frm missing u, frm thinking abt u... i will move on because i must... time will heal my wounds... crying is my favourite hobby now, i need 2 make this hobby go away.. time will do that for me... but i hope whatever time does, u will not forget me...

haiz... skool's crapy as usual.. to my macroecons lecturer, my name is " e gal who wants to accumulate wealth..." dotted... what kinda name is that? MY NAME IS JOYZZ!! gg 2 tell him that tml... u r gg 2 get it straight, Mr macroecons 2!! cheat my feelings... he lures us with a very attractive bait n once we are hooked, too bad!! so mean!! meanie, meanie, super big bad meanie! nvm... tml last day le.. jia you! stinkie, u also jia you k!

i'm glad that u dun hate me!

all along i was so worried that u might hate me... i noe i did not do anything wrong but... i just feel guilty after all u r 1 guy whom i luv so so much... my heartaches @ e thought of what e ending might be... i never wanted it this way... i know u believe me... i also know that what's done cannot be undone... learn this painful lesson hard, learn it well! so that it will be worth it... everyone is supporting u, i'm also doing e same... pls b strong! i know this is e darkest period of your life but believe me, there will be light @ e end of e tunnel... all i hope n pray 4 is that u will learn something out of this n u can get off as easy as possible... like i have said before, forgiveness is not about e mistake that was made... it is how much i want to forgive u... i don't blame u... i'm just sad that our time together was so short...

do u know how much i yearn to hug u n hear u whisper all e sweet nothings into my ears? there was once in my life when a hug from u could erase all my pain n sorrows. i'm glad that i had a chance 2 be e one u loved with all your heart n soul [i hope so] because from that point in time u made me see that love is so sweet but so blind... u made me realise that love can change somebody so much... although e changes might not be all that willing but @ least i manage 2 change u 4 awhile.... i hope someday u will find a reason to become better 4 good... the women who is able 2 do that will be e happiest women on earth because when u loved me, i felt e same... since then, things have changed... i hope one day u'll find a women whom can love u unconditionally... n i hope u will learn to treasure her by then... [life has been kind 2 u... sometimes it's e choices we make in life that mould us into who we are... ]

u are special... u have e ability 2 charm everyone... n u gotta stop being such a casanova, i wonder how many hearts will u break b4 u find your wife... haiz... sighing @ e thought of that... u'll always have a special place in my heart! i'll never forget u... u can be an angel if u want to... pls be an angel, although u'll be e naughtiest n meanest angel but u'll also be e cutest 1! haha...

i will move on because i have to... because i need to... what good will it do if i stay @ e same spot licking my wounds? e world will not stop spinning because of me... if it would i'll have stopped it when we were still madly in love... there's no happily ever after n there's no forever in e world we live in... there's only once upon a time....

once upon a time, we were madly in love... if i can relive those days, i will... i never regret e time we spend together... because u taught me how 2 be strong, how it feels 2 be loved, most importantly u taught mi how 2 love some one with all my heart n soul...

i'm letting go n moving on now...

i will try n b myself... i need 2 find myself back.. i dunno where 2 find myself... like yc said "ppl can let u down but u cannot let yourself." tat is so so so true! So i'm juz glad... i did not let myself down.. for all e shit we go through, i hope he'll learn a lesson! it might take a long time, he might never learn but i hope he will... tat's wat we live 4... HOPE!! i will continue 2 pray for u, 2 continue 2 care for u n i'll always remember u... [one day if u stop hating me, pls let me know... the day might never come but... i hope it will... soon... ]

i will move on.. i will find myself back... i will continue to thank god that i'm alive n for all the things that he has given me... god has been generous to me... i hope that will continue to be the case! hee... i will jia you... to b a better me...

joshua- thanks 4 ur listening ear n thanks 4 being willing 2 listen... except thanking u, i dunno wat 2 do...

it applies to all of my frenz... except saying thank you from e bottom of my heart, i really dunno how to express my gratitude... muackz... hugs! luvya...

finally, i broke down...

broke down in skool today... scared e hell out of jindi n 10... [gal, thanks 4 being there... really thank u from e bottom of my heart!] i'm glad that finally i can cry... before i broke down today, i did not drop a tear since all this happened [everything was struck inside me! all my emotions, all e sadness n guilt... i think this is better for me...] i feel like i'm gg through a battle.. i know this battle is almost over. after e battle, i still have 2 heal myself from all e emotional wounds... this will be a long n slow journey but i can still see e silver lining so i'm not gg 2 give up yet... i will jia you! u guys will be there 2 support me right?

went through a crapy n tough econs lecture today... haiz... hell man! got so much shit that i really didn't catch... e lecturer like 2 call out 2 his "audience" 2 look for answers! scared e hell outta me when he called me... crap!!! money is something i want alot of- so money is a measure of wealth. dotted right?? really need 2 work hard on this module.. jia you again!!

auntie... i know e probability of u reading this is very low but... i never wanted 2 break up your family... they are all you have, i understand! as a daughter i understand what you are doing... no matter how much wrong i do/did, i'm always my parents' daughter n someone's sister! they always forgive me... your love for your son is something that never fails to amaze me! you give me e feeling that as long as you are alive, you will always be there for your son... that is something he should learn to appreciate... i hope he will see what you have done for him n be good... [i know you might blame me for all this shit but i'm just like you... all along i wanted to help him, to love n care for him. in the end, instead of helping him i might have harmed him... i never wanted this ending... if there's anything i can do to help... pls call me...]

[pls be forewarned... if i juz break down n cry when i'm with you guys, don't be alarmed! just give me a hug...]

Never underestimate the love of a mother for her children.

i've been fooled by a jackass!

i've heard enough of ur lies! all along u haf been fooling me... i placed so much trust in u n what did u do 2 e trust i gave u? i cannot differenciate e truth from all e lies that u haf told me. i'm so tired of being your clown! i had enough! i really did!

i know there'll be people who will blame me for whatever that happened but what can i do? [blame all u want, it makes no difference to me.. not anymore] if they were in my shoes, what would they have done? i know what i did was survival instinct! i was so afraid, so scared... now i really know that it is good to be alive... i know what i have done might not be the best solution to this problem but at least there's a SOLUTION now... i have been trying 2 be nice 4 so long, n what did i get? my world IS NOT full of butterfiles n everything nice, its just that i choose 2 see e nicer part of human life. [if i don't see the bad, how do i know what's good?] u had a choice n u chose this so don't tell me...

u r always forgiven when u create trouble. u just don't know how 2 appreciate all e things u have... y be envious of things that people have? will u get what u want by just being envious? u just got to thank god that u have what u have...

finally for once in my life i just spill all e shit out 2 my parents! i know they are worried n i know they will worry whether i tell them or not... i know i scare e hell out of them but... haiz.... i'm their daughter after all... finally they are honest with me... thanks 4 everything! i know u all gave in 2 me all e time because u guys love me... i'm your daughter! i don't want to let u guys worry about me all e time either but... just feel so bad!

uncle n auntie, if u ever do read this... all i can say is sorry... i never wanted any of this 2 happen.. i know u love your son n i love him too... i don't want to harm him [never ever would i do that]... u may think this is all bullshit but u know your son even though he had plenty of friends there are alot of things that he never told anyone [i'm included]... he has lied 2 me so many times that i don't know what to do... i tried everything i could, i really tried... he needs help... i don't know how but... we have something in common, we all love your son... when u love someone, u will never want to harm him! i really thank you for all e care n concern u have showered on me... i really thank you...

I'M A F00L!!

all tis time i thought he still loves me but actually he just cannot let go of me... u drag me into this shit & left me there 2 rot...

u once said "i'll always be there for u..." is there any truth in these words? i don't know... i don't believe anymore... in u, in love...

u said " i'm always there for u when u needed me but were u there for me?" u assumed that u were always there for me but when i really needed u, were u there?

"will being there for u help @ all?" it will not cause now it doesn't matter anymore... i gotta move on, with or without u! i gotta move on cause the world will not spinning because of me.

i have been a fool, i know... i will learn 2 be a better person, i will try to help in whatever ways i can... till e day when i give up, till e day i die [i don't know when]... i don't know if what i did is right [i don't know if there's a absolute right or wrong] but i really don't want things 2 end up like that...

to him... if u r reading this, i want to let u know that:

• i love u, i still do... [i know i'm dumb... i wanted to hug u & tell u that but i did & will not have a chance]
• i really want u to be happy [ i don't know how to make u happy, cause only u noe how to make yourself happy]
• i don't want to get u into any trouble [i know it sounds lame but..]
• i know she is e 1 u love now.... [i'm jealous but what can i do?]
• i hope u will be alright [i know i can never be e 1 u want talk to when u encounter problems but i hope u can find someone whom u can talk to... i know i might & probably will not hear from u again so i want to tell u that i know i'm part of your past & i will stay in your past.]
• i will cry again for u if u get into trouble or if u end your life [althought u r not worth it... there's alot of things that i can't explain.]

i'm so sad & hurt cause i never expected that we will end like that. u will make a good husband if the earth could stop spinning @ that point in time when we were so in love.... if i had married u then & everything else remain constant, i will be e happiest women on earth [i know i will]. Never did i once regret acceptting u in my life [i might have my doubts but i never did regret]. i thank you for all e tender love & care u once showered me with. i thank you for making me part of your life. i thank you for all e time we had together. u r special & u always will be... because u brought joy to my life, u made me grow up & view life differently. i want to see u again but yet i'm so afraid of seeing u... one day i will face u again, i just don't when... i will always remember u...

don't hate me....

so so slpy...

wen party world on wed wif all my buddies... had a reali wonderful time... finally i saw lucy! haha.... muz jio all tis ppl 2 sunset next week!! i wanna get a tan...

gather n smile!

eat e ear contest!!

lucy n i... hugz!

do re mi again!

i'm so so so slpy now... wen swimming n tanning @ daffy's wif jing wei... dunno y i'm so slpy... wanna zzzz... den YC say wanna go zouk.. reali broke n tired.. another day perhaps... i bought an adapter [finally].. haha... my internet is up n running n it make mi so so HAPPIE!!! wahahahaha...

my dear Mr mantimneu, if u dun wanna help urself, no1 can help u... dun always look 4 e ez way out... sometimes it's e journey tat matters! jia you k! call mi wen u nid 2 tok lah... i noe it's not much help cuz u can't reali tok 2 mi.... nvm... find sum1 u can confide in k? where is e charming barbarian, i know of? pick urself up k.. u reali nid 2 put on sum weight..

PRICE THEORY = GRAPHs?

wat kinda module name is tat?? haiyo... think tis is a killer module so e module name should b "killer graphs 101" but it sounds so depressing so they came up with a nice name tat gets u guessing abt wat e module is abt... i reali dun understand wat is tis module abt.. i juz take it as it is... as usual... e speed e lecturer is teaching is AMAZING... mayb i juz dunno how 2 listen n copy n understand @ e same time... i guess i gotta learn...

Mr Y.C- a degree simply means more books n notes... aiyo... e agony i'm in... i choose 2 do tis degree but i'm cursing myself 4 it... pray hard whenever i haf test n exams k... haha... yeah... miting alot of lovely ppl aft skool tml.. yum yum chicken, here i come!! [once again, food = joyzz] lucy,lucy, lucy... dying 2 cya... motivated by e lure of FOOD n good company!!! i will survive tml n thurs...

[listening 2 'i wanna run to u" by whitney houston now... who can i run 2? myself? my bed? hopefully one day i'll b able 2 find someone whom i can always run to... "tell mi will you stay or will you run away? will you hold mi in ur arms & keep me safe from harm?"]

skool is so...

haiyo... 1st day of skool n i dun understand anything @ all... all i could do is copy, copy, n copy 2 fill up my lecture notes... once again, i'm copying blindly [i'm grateful if i manage 2 copy everything he writes].. aiyo.. so so so many graphs 2 copy... i oso dunno which line comes b4 which... dotted.. a graph speaks a thousand words?? haiz...

skool =copy blindly [tat's 4 sure!!]

my handwritting sucks now... oh god... i shall stop @ a degree... [if possible] i wanna study no more 4 @ least 2yrs ... haha.. so scare of copying lecture notes [eeeeee...]..

yeah... finally, i think i miting lucy on wed... wahahaha... aft so long... miss her like crazy... haha.. gg 2 take PLENTY of pics... wahahaha... crazy mi... juz now wanna zzzz in class but now i feel so awake.. nv underestimate e power of a lecturer!

back 2 skool...

aiyo.. aft my long long long holidays, i'm finally gg back 2 skool tml...

skool = stuff 2 keep mi bz,

skool = sianz,

skool = i will learn 2 drive!!!

jia you ba!!!

yesterday went east coast 2 watch football with yong chuan, swee yee, li ling n jindi... i nearly fall aslp.. so now we all noe, football not equal 2 call joyzz... food = call joyzz, haha... i think tat's e onli think i always like... eating! lucky i'm a skinny ass... tat's e onli thing i can b happie abt, i guess... but cup noodles, snacks n beer=joyzz is so full... eeee... i have a tummy! so horrible looking!

[muz sae sorrie 2 yong chuan.. i forgot n hit him yesterday... i guess old habbits die hard.. sorrie... stop calling mi a pilot k!!]

unpredictable...

hmmm.... having fun now... i guess i realise since life's so unpredictable, i shld juz b happie wif watever is thrown in my way... it's my attitude towards e problem tat matters... as sum1 has told mi, if u dun think ur life is a mess, it'll nv b 1... haha...

haf been sad 4 2 months le... enuff is enuff... still dunno wat i wan but... y bother? god has plans 4 mi [i hope so..] i'll solve e problem wen it comes along.. in a beri good mod todae... feeling so HAPPIE... I'M SO HAPPIE.... feels so good 2 b cared 4... thanks 2 every1 out there who cares 4 mi... muacks... luvya.. gif u all a BIG HUG!!!

still lost...

haiz... still looking 4 my map... my purpose in life... still dotted abt wat happen yesterday... oh god... wat haf i done? i had fun i guess but i'm afraid 2 get hurt again.. anyway, so dunno where his will lead... 1 thing leads 2 e other... it's a chain of events but i dunno wat will happen eventually... mayb nothing will happen in e end... juz leave it alone...

Superman returns!!!

wahahaha... gg 2 watch superman returns later... juz woke up not long ago... still abit blur, stone n gong... nid 2 warm up e engine 1st... had a long [reali long] chat yesterday... i noe i can't live in e past anymore... walking out of it now [still walking but @ a faster rate liao]... haf 2 thank sum1 4 it... u made mi c it... thanks... i've solved 1 problem n i hope i'm not creating another.. hmm.... moral of e story... I SURVIVED!!!!

tok, tok n tok...

called li ling juz now... i think she a little stress, upset n blah @ work... that's work i guess... i dunno wat 2 say or how 2 make her feel beta [n i guess she feels the same abt mi...] but it's ok... it's just life.... when i start working, i'll be the same... wahahaha...think she's learning pretty fast n she'll cope well... don't worry lah gal... juz jia you.. it not eazy, it has nv been... so it's ok... it'll b over soon...

talked 2 him just now... seems tat he's not in a good mood either.. IS ANYONE IN A GD MOOD @ ALL?? haiz... watever that bugs u will go away if u try hard enuff... i dunno if staying in contact has help or not [it's e same case with mi] but forget it... i dun care... dun wanna think so much... 1 day i might think what a dumb ass i am but hey, ppl learn frm their mistakes... n i dunno if tis is 1.. if it is, i learn [i hope]...

was toking 2 ice juz now... still feel so lost... i think i'm a 'wonder' in alot of ways 2 alot of ppl... i haf an ability 2 'shock' ppl... they r always lost 4 words... haha.. i think it's mi lah... i oso dunno wat 2 say den... haiz...

wen will i b alrite? i dunno... i wan it 2 happen soon, i hope it will but no matter how long it takes i will b alrite again... listening "i will survive'" by cake now... I WILL SURVIVE!!!!!

found sumthing back...

was crying like crazy abt 3hrs ago... cried 4 an hour... crying over wat? i haf no idea... haha... actually.. i miss him lah... i miss his laughter, hugs & kisses... so i did wat i shld... solve e problem @ its root... wahaha... i called him [i already hear all e boos n all e wat e hell!!] i noe u guys think i'm so weak blah blah blah... i dun care... i do wat i wan... tat's mi... i'm not as strong as u guys think... i do cry! [yes, u heard mi...] i do feel lost... i nid ppl 2 guide mi 2 find my way back 2 wherever i belong [god noes where...] haha... i dun care.. we r all lost... let's find a map together... haha... cuz i cannot b left alone... i constantly search 4 frenz cuz i can't b alone... i feel so happie wen i haf alot of ppl 2 tok 2... hee... tat's where my happiness lies... i can't stop toking... wahaha... everybody has a limit n where is e limit i dunno...

aft i tok 2 him, i realised tat he's not happie either... [tat doesn't mean tat we'll b happie together, yes i noe] i dun hate him... he made a mistake n i forgive him... sumtimes it's not e kinda mistake he makes it's how much u wanna forgive him tat matters... i forgive u... i still care 4 u... but... love has impaired my rationality.... haha... n scientist prove tat love does has e ability 2 do it... haha... read it frm sumwhere... [yes... i love 2 read... no textbooks pls...] i still luv him... now i noe... i dunno how long i can hang on in tis state but... 4 now, i still love him...

my dear boy... dun feel so lost... i'll b here... it'll b over soon n u'll b happie again... smile... laugh @ all e dumb things tat i can nv understand... it's ok... it's ur own entertainment... enjoy skool... becuz u r in skool n transpot is cheap!! world cup... it's once every 4 years... enjoy...

dear all... i noe u r will always b there 2 support mi no matter wat my decision might be... i, myself think tat it's amazing tat i dun blame him... 1 day i will not blame her or myself either... i'll choose 2 forget... i'll choose 2 think tat tis world is beautiful... call mi naive... i juz wanna c tis world in a beta light... i'm gg 2 do wat i like... wat i enjoy... time passes faster tis way... i wish tat evrything will b well 4 all of u 2... i luvya...

life...

went out for dinner as usual... wen 2 ang mo kio... haiz... pass by his house wen sending li ling back... suddenly it hit mi... how long haf i not been 2 tis place... was in my dad's car juz now... i still remember how my dad would drop mi off @ his house... now... wat made tis happen? y is a relationshp so hard 2 handle... yong chuan once said if i wanted him back, den win him back... u noe wat? i dun haf faith tat i can win him back n i dun haf faith tat we'll stay together even if i win him back... i wanna believe in myself... i wanna trust but... how 2?

i put aeroplane yesterday...

haha... i put aeroplane yesterday.. n yong chuan's still being sore abt it... haiz.. nvm i shall gif him time 2 get over it n forgive mi... becuz he forgives n forgets... [*yong chuan... forget... dun b so petty n sore le... forgive mi lah...*] [lao da aka peng xiong... u'll b nicer den yong chuan rite? even i fang ni fei ji, u wouldn't b so mean becuz u r always so nice rite? u nv reply mi yesterdy i scare leh... ] we go zouk another day wen i on form i jio k? dear all dun b angry lah... swee yee, u oso...

haiz... was rotting @ my grandma's on fri nite.. sob i couldn't slp... n u noe wat i dun feel tired @ all... haiyo.... i oso wanna b like li ling she can fall aslp if u juz let her lie down... but luckily, i was able 2 catch sum slp yesterday... i noe i haben got over him cuz he's on my mind every minute wen i'm awake... sumtimes i hate him, sumtimes i pity him cuz he so guilty... sumtimes i juz drift n wonder abt wat has happened... i wanna delete him... but how can i? i juz asked a dumb question... ignore it k... haiz...

i'm yawning but i can't fall aslp wen i shld... haiz... i wanna b able 2 slp @ nite... not in e day... sobz... wat 2 do... yong chuan so mean ask mi not 2 call wen i can't slp @ nite... [he joking 1 lah... i hope... hee]

damn it... y does it haf 2 b like tat?

he called mi yesterday... e whole point of e conversation being: is there anything he can do 2 make mi feel beta?

u noe wat? tis whole time all he wanted 2 do was 2 make mi feel happier... i was still thinking tat he still loves mi, juz tat he made a mistake tat's all... wanna make mi feel beta? wat a joke? if u can turn back time n make tis a dream, den do it...

e whole point in tis, is tat U wanna make urself feel beta but in e process, u r making mi feel worse... got it? since u haf e guts 2 do it den live wif e consequence... feeling too guilty? den wat u wan mi 2 do?? asshole.. stop making my life worse den it already is, will u?? i feel like killing u!! but wat does it achieve? tat's where i'm different frm u!! although i follow my heart, I DO THINK ABT WAT HAPPENS NEXT!!! u dun.. u juz act like a wilful kid n think tat everything will b okie no matter wat... e true is u juz cannot deal wif wat u haf done... all tis time, u haf been making urself so comfortable in going wif e flow tat u dun stop n think abt wat u r doing... u juz do wat u wan, hurting alot of ppl in e process! u dun care abt e ppl around u... u r so selfish... u make ur problem every1's problem... tat's e true u! we cannot b frenz anymore... i think i'll b beta off without a fren like u... bye... u piece of shit... i'm no longer willing 2 b part of ur problem anymore... leave mi out of it, will u?

i wanna b like yong chuan... forgive n forget but tat doesn't mean, i can or i will b able 2 pretend tat none of tis happened... it's so nice 2 b forgiving... hee.. but since i cannot do it, i shall not force myself... i can forgive u, manfred but i cannot forget... n stop doing so much wrong tat i haf 2 keep forgiving u, will u? i meant every word i said...... u haf 2 learn how 2 face wat has happened... i noe i'm not gd @ it but @ least i faced wat happened... i live wif it... it's part of my life n tis will b a story wif sumthing i can learn frm... i cannot say if it's good or bad but i've grown up becuz i haf 2 face tis... if i could i would choose b a kid forever... since i cannot, i'll haf 2 accept wat life throws in my way... dun repeat tis mistake again.. its bad enuff 2 do it once... 1 day, wen u r able 2 face tis, u'll b a beta man... n by den, i'll b happie 4 u frm e bottom of my heart...

my beautiful cousin~my GF...

my dearest cousin n i...

realised tat i din post a pic of my cousin n i.. aiyo... how can? she my part time guardian angel leh... haha... my beloved cousin: miss yeo... muz get a clear headshot den can mah.. hee...

~almost love~

is there such a thing as almost love? i guess wen u r not sure if u r in love den it's called i'm almost in love... haha... den i think i'm almost outta love... haiz... so sianz... so lost... so much time, wat 2 do?

wen2 catch e movie "almost love".. it's so sweet but so impossible... haiz... wat 2 expect aft all it's a movie!
LOVE- sumthing tat troubles alot of ppl... it makes everything so sweet n it feels like e world is so beautiful... but wen it's gone, it leaves u devarstated, leaves u in ruins... why do i haf 2 face tis? i haf no idea... how do i live on? no idea either.. i juz survive... with all e ppl around mi supporting mi, can't let them down...

[how much he affects mi, is how much i let him affect mi..

1 day he'll have no effect on mi... it takes time 2 switch off...]

everything will go back 2 "normal" wen i fall in love again, i guess... love mi as who i am... no lesssons on how or wat 2 do... i'll try 2 b tolerant towards ur likes n dislikes but i'm human aft all.. i forget n i make mistakes... u'll have 2 b forgiving... all of us muz b forgiving towards one another... tat's life... if u wanna do sumthing, show mi tat u reali wan it n i'll support u all e way... u gotta show mi 1st... i believe tat there r angels 4 each n every1 of us... they'll guide us... mine juz wen on leave tat's y i'm so lost...

[wei! angel!! u wanna clear ur annual leave nv let mi noe...

fly kite ar u? c lah.. now i'm so wasted.. haiz... beta b back soon!

come back b4 i break down again k? i guess u dun gif a damn abt rules!

next time let mi noe 1st k? courtesy, u noe? b nice k?

i'll oso b nicer 2 u.. wun b so mean le...

come back??]

i guese i'm gg crazy soon.. my dearest angel!! calling 4 joyzz's angel!! dun MIA le... haiz... i gotta stand on my own feet 1st ba... will hang on till my angel is back... in e mean time i've gotta learn how 2 b nicer... learning in process...